List of Past American Idol Contestants

Here is a list of past American Idol contestants and their elimination dates. Who are some of your favorites who got eliminated early? Stories to tell? Memorable moments? After the list, I post mine.

Season 1 (2002)

Kelly Clarkson Winner
Justin Guarini 4 September
Nikki McKibbin 28 August
Tamyra Gray 21 August
RJ Helton 14 August
Christina Christian 7 August
Ryan Starr 31 July
A.J. Gil 24 July
Jim Verraros 17 July
EJay Day 17 July

Season 2 (2003)

Ruben Studdard Winner
Clay Aiken 21 May
Kimberley Locke 14 May
Joshua Gracin 7 May
Trenyce 30 April
Carmen Rasmusen 23 April
Kimberly Caldwell 16 April
Rickey Smith 9 April
Corey Clark Disqualified
Julia DeMato 26 March
Charles Grigsby 19 March
Vanessa Olivarez 12 March

Season 3 (2004)

Fantasia Barrino Winner
Diana DeGarmo 26 May
Jasmine Trias 19 May
LaToya London 12 May
George Huff 5 May
John Stevens 28 April
Jennifer Hudson 21 April
Jon Peter Lewis 15 April
Camile Velasco 7 April
Amy Adams 31 March
Matthew Rogers 24 March
Leah LaBelle 17 March

Season 4 (2005)

Carrie Underwood Winner
Bo Bice 25 May
Vonzell Solomon 18 May
Anthony Fedorov 11 May
Scott Savol 4 May
Constantine Maroulis 27 April
Anwar Robinson 20 April
Nadia Turner 13 April
Nikko Smith 6 April
Jessica Sierra 30 March
Mikalah Gordon 24 March
Lindsey Cardinale 16 March

Season 5 (2006)

Taylor Hicks Winner
Katharine McPhee 24 May
Elliott Yamin 17 May
Chris Daughtry 10 May
Paris Bennett 3 May
Kellie Pickler 26 April
Ace Young 19 April
Bucky Covington 12 April
Mandisa 5 April
Lisa Tucker 29 March
Kevin Covais 22 March
Melissa McGhee 15 March

We caught part of Season 1 of this show in Richfield, UT doing some "away" medical school rotations and got hooked (after the initial confusion of "Wait, it's on again? Tuesdays? Wednesdays? This isn't a repeat though. Wait. Two times a week? They sing and then people vote? What?"). We love this show!

Season 1 -- Not having caught the season in its entirety, we like both of the top 2 and no question that Kelly is amazing.

Season 2 -- Okay, I have a lot to say about this season--one of my favorite seasons to watch! REALLY wanted Clay to win, but we do like Ruben, too. This was the season I learned about online forums. :P I never really liked Kimberley Locke (still don't think she's all that). I always resented Simon trying to play her up so there'd be some drama about the top 2 and 3. AS IF we didn't all know it would be a Clay-Ruben finale. I was amazed how many people jumped on Simon's bandwagon thinking she could actually give either one of those 2 amazing guys a run for their money. She's good. She's not that good. I'm glad the 3 of them are friends, but no question, Clay and Ruben are tops.

Didn't ever care for Josh Gracin. He's cocky and weirds me out when he sings for some reason. Decent voice, but I'm not a country fan. And that was weird when he switched all of a sudden to a twangy voice. Very strange. I can do a mean Trenyce impersonation. :P Didn't ever like Kim Caldwell (still don't). Not my style at all--she's too "harsh" and abrasive. I liked Carmen okay, but didn't think she was all that, though it's admittedly fun to have an LDS competitor to watch.

I LOVE RICKEY Smith!! Hercules! Hercules! Hercules! He's one of my favorites. Love his Brian McKnight sound!

Corey Clark was always annoying. Couldn't stand him. His disqualifiation was interesting and cool that they didn't eliminate anyone and did a show anyway.

Julia DeMato. When I saw her perform "Son of a Preacher Man" to try to get in the top 12, I voted for the first time. I didn't know that you get multiple votes, so I called once and voted and figured that was it. :P

I LOVE CHARLES GRIGSBY! And I'm still annoyed that they cut him off during his farewall song for some sort of national news.

Season 3 -- quick blurb for some of these as this season wasn't that interesting since Fantasia really had no competition. She's amazing. I love to watch her perform whether or not it's my style of music.

Diana DeGarmo - Such a cute girl, I cringed and slept horribly the night before the finale. She hit a REALLY sour note and I really, truly *ached* for her. She's amazing at such a young age, too!

LaToya London-- too snobby for me to ever get into her nice voice. She's amazing, but not unique. She blew it (and I predicted it) when she interviewed with Ryan after a performance and actually said she didn't need the show to go places. See ya! Duh.

George Huff -- very, very fun to watch. Reminds me of Tennessee Ernie Ford.

John Stevens-- love the crooners!

Jennifer Hudson-- she's always weirded me out when she sings, but she IS amazing. I still think it's INCREDIBLY exciting that she's got a Golden Globe and an Oscar nomination (so far)!

Jon Peter Lewis-- LOVE him, love his album, love his style, another fun LDS one

Matthew Rogers-- annoying as all get out, cocky

Season 4 -- My favorites are Constantine and Bo. I'm not really a "rocker," but I love how true they are to their own respective styles. And I have a great deal of respect for Constantine's chutzpa on the show with EVERY SINGLE ONE of his performances, particularly Queen's, Reba's, and The Partridge Family's. "I THINK I LOVE YOU!!" I was so upset when he got booted.

Not a big Carrie fan, though she's undoubtedly amazing, too. Again, not a country fan. And she was too aloof for my liking. I like some personality.

I liked Anwar until he hit the big stage. It was too much for him. Too bad.

I liked Nadia but she did weird things with her hair.

I LOVE NIKKO!! That guy was PHENOMENAL and should've advanced SO MUCH MORE than he did. He got eliminated after a stellar "West Side Story" performance, I might add. LOVE NIKKO. Was so glad when he got Mario Vasquez's spot.

Mikalah Gordon-- so annoying I almost don't even want to mention her

Season 5 - GREAT seaon, so many good and great performers. I'm fine with Taylor as the winner, because he's amazing. I think the final 2 would've been FAR more interesting as an all-male finale. Katharine is GORGEOUS and very good, but a no brainer runner up to at least 3 of the guys on the show that season. Taylor-Chris or Taylor-Elliot would've been a fantastic edge-of-your-seat finale. Taylor-Katharine was fine, but we always knew Taylor would win it, so it wasn't as exciting. Though, she looked amazing and sounded great.

I LOVE ELLIOTT!! That guy chose difficult songs and always nailed them time and time again. He's extremely likeable, so genuine and kind hearted, such a good sport, and SUCH a great singer! His "Moody's Mood For Love" is one of the most challenging songs to sing and he did it and nailed it and earned his way right into the top 12. I would've loved to see him in the finale. I love Elliott!! EVERY song he sings has HIS OWN STYLE and his fantastic voice. He can sing anything and I love, love, love his style. Can hardly wait for his album. My favorite of the season.

Chris Daughtry--AMAZING! Shocker of an elimination, no question. He should've stayed longer, too. This is the season I wanted 3 winners as a tie. :P I think he's phenomenal, but I did find his attitude to be very poor when he got eliminated and came up with lots of excuses for his elimination but never ONCE was gracious enough to say, "I'm up against great singers and they deserve this, too" or something to that effect anyway! Anything.

Ace was amazing on the tour--one of my favorites after the fact. And I have always loved his falsetto. "Butterflies" is one of my favorite performances by him.

Mark does a mean Bucky impersonation in so many formats! LOL!

The others, a mix of okay, not my thing, etc.

So, basically, my favorites are Kelly, Charles Grigsby, Rickey Smith, Nikko, Clay, Fantasia, JPL, Bo, Constantine, Chris Daughtry, Taylor, and Elliott. Hmmmm, I really love the guys, eh?

'DAUGHTRY' appears on Craig Ferguson - 1/27

Chris closed the Craig Ferguson Late Late Show with his band 'DAUGHTRY' - two electric guitars, electric bass, and drums. A solid hard rock piece, the name of which wasn't given. The drummer apparently sings harmony, judging by the mic in front of him, and does a very good job of enhancing Chris' voice, but wasn't given any camera time. Nor was there an interview...the show ended with the song. It was a tight, well-executed performance, though the genre was not my personal cup of tea.

Kellie Pickler Gets Emotional on The View

What a touching, genuine performance. Grab a hanky . . .

Chris Daughtry Sings the National Anthem

Man, doesn't he look cold?? Great job!

Jon Peter Lewis Album Review

Any album that can make you think of The Cars, Billy Joel, The B52s, and Marvin Gaye is alright in my book. JPL does just this, while maintaining a distinct style that made him a favorite in A.I.'s third season. Overall I think he sounds a lot like John Mayer, which is a good thing, and his voice sounds just like it did on the competition with a little more "polishing." Here is a list of the songs on the album, along with my first impressions.

1. Boy Next Door: great track with some definite alternative undertone. The opening sounds a bit like U2, in my opinion.

2. Gypsy Queen: starts out riding "like Kerouac" and ends up serving lattes on Sunset to the "mentally challenged." Great lyrics.

3. What's Wrong: the opening drum riffs definitely remind me of bands like The Cars, and the rest of the song does not disappoint.

4. Man from Amsterdam: you can see some of his feelings about A.I. and Hollywood sneak through here. I love the guitar work reminiscent of the Red Hot Chili Peppers on "Under the Bridge."

5. If I Go Away: his vocals have a John Mayer feel here and reminds me of why he did so well on A.I.

6. Man Like Me: another great slow one from JPL, probably my favorite on the album.

7. Stories from Hollywood: the chorus on this one reminds me of mid-80s Billy Joel, and that's a good thing.

8. Rodeo: this one sounds like they recorded it live in JPL's garage, but it still has a professional sound to it (reminds me a bit of They Might Be Giants). The lyrics mention Laverne and Shirley, the Three Stooges (before Shemp), and the Lone Ranger. What else could you want?

9. Burning in Hello: it starts with some ZZ Top-ish guitar work and vocals, and keeps on driving ahead. Not one of my favorites on the album, but still very good.

10. Turn to Grey: this one has a great R&B feel (hence the Marvin Gaye reference earlier) and still maintains the style for which JPL is known.

11. Amanda Grace: Very folksy sounding and very good.

My personal favorites are "Boy Next Door," "Man Like Me," and "Amanda Grace." You can hear clips of some of his songs on his My Space page. And Amazon has clips of all the songs on the album. I listened before buying the CD and I knew we'd love it.

On his website JPL mentions how he wanted to distance himself from the heavily pop-influenced albums that A.I. contestants usually end up putting out, and stay closer to music with a rock and roll edge. He's done that and created a great album at the same time. The two years away from A.I. have been good for him, but he'll never erase the memories of those Ford commercials!

Something Funny . . . or Disturbing!

I was looking for some Idol-related stuff earlier today and came across this video. It's classic JibJab set to the Weird Al "hit" (if there is such a thing) "Do I Creep You Out." Since the answer to that question is usually "yes," I wanted to see how it turned out. For me the answer is still "yes." What will your answer be?

Do I Creep You Out | Send To Friends | Funny Animations at JibJab

Idol Chatter from the Good Doctor, Part Deux

I got to thinking about the winners of the past season, and contemplating Randy's question for the ages: What do they all have in common? None of them required on-the-job training, for one (that's for you, Sarah). But I came up with something else: during the competition they proved that they "know who they are." Carrie is the only one that I think had an "identity crisis" about mid-way through the competition, but otherwise we all knew she was a country singer. We knew Ruben would bring us some high quality R&B, and Taylor was adancin' fool with almost too much energy.

This is one reason I don't have high hopes for people like the Amazing Opera Girl. She flipped in and out of styles at will a la Josh Gracin. Remember when all of a sudden he had this extreme southern drawl? That was weird. It suits him now, but at the time it was unexpected. In the beginning, switching styles with the theme for the week works out for a lot of contestants, but ultimately this lack of true identity and personal style works against them. Ruben took some heat for seeming to plateau, but he just proved week in and week out that he was so good, his improvements seemed minimal.

I'm looking forward to seeing who will step forward during Hollywood and the early weeks and show some style. And "I'm unique" is not an endorsement of personal style.

It's usually just plain weird.

NEW YORK

I'll start off showing my musical ignorance...I wondered why in the world Joan Collins was guest judging!!! No, it wasn't Joan after all, just her long lost identical twin!

I really loved all the back stories on this episode!

Sarah - What a sad/touching story! I hope her dad will support her, she seemed very good!

Best Friends - It will be interesting to see what happens to these two in Hollywood, unless of course Ryan was just tricking us with his false advertising!

Jenry - I liked him! And he was lucky Simon wasn't there, I'm sure he would have had rude things to say since he wasn't a beautiful girl... His mom was cute!

Okay, has ANYONE EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER made it through to Hollywood when they've come to the auditions with ANY KIND OF GIMMICK (i.e. costume, pet, stage makeup, prop...)????? WHY oh WHY do people keep coming with them then? Are they gluttons for punishment? Do they not watch the show? I know several of you comment about this every week, and I just don't get these people who think they're going to get through like that...

Jory - I really liked her!

Porcelana - Those were the lowest low rise jeans I've ever seen...she had a plumber's crack while she was standing up straight! She's got an interesting/unique voice, but she may be a little too *skenky* for me...we'll have to see.

I liked Rachel the opera singer also! She was a surprise!

Nicholas's "second time around" was awesome, I hope he's ready for the challenge this time because he was good!!!

39 people made it through from NY, huh? That's a LOT compared to last week!

Mags!

One of my favorite AI blogs to read (in addition to ours) is Magistra's! She is F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S. She is a lovely combination of witty, clever, and sarcastic. I've read her blogs (along with the very enjoyable Floresta) on the American Idol site for the past year or so.

Well, Mags is so funny that phillyBurbs picked her up and now she posts there! Sigh. I knew her when. :P I love that she's been "discovered!"

So, we're fans. And I'm spreading the word--she's fantastic. We have links on the side to her posts as well as Floresta's posts. Hilarious reviews and recaps. Thoroughly enjoy them. And then some.

Oh, and now I know that not only is she wickedly funny, she's also very thoughtful and sweet. I wrote her to tell her that I think she's great. I told her about our blog and she kindly took the time to check out our site, read our stuff, and email me back. We're in her bookmarks! ;)

Her gesture was so very nice and it was such a bright spot in my day. I'm a fan. And she's one of my blogging idols. I recommend you read her. Every week.

New Your New Your

Yeah yeah...cos I'm from new Yawk I gotta hear all dis gripin about our performers. Da reality is simple, we got more singers in da contest den anyplaces else.

Now, I hope that feels your overdone NY accent quota for the year, cos I don't like doing it. On with the show...or train wreck...you choose.

Normally I'm never disappointed in my own state, we are a dignified group (angry, hostile, indignant, rude and surly) and very rarely do you find something that can embarass us. We like to call those embarassments one of two things:
1. Tourists
Basically, these are the people who are visiting from someplace else and don't get it.
"I'm from Maryland and I love it here, except I don't understand why strangers don't talk to me on the subway".
Even if they decide to live here, if they don't get it, then they are tourists.
2. East Villagers
This group of misfits is usually responsible for some of the mind bendingly lame performances we saw last night. Villagers are basically a mix of real NY residents and wannabe real NY residents. They show up and rent the apartment next to some heroin addicts and claim to be actors and performers while working as waitresses and waiters. It's this group of defects that you see parading around on television saying things like "I'm a superstar".

For some reason, that area draws in freaks like magnets. Anyone with any desire to be famous gathers down in the village, they all frequent the same lame bars and call them trendy (like a 20 seat smelly bar is trendy because a bunch of out of staters sit there at night discussing how cool the village is). Now you take these tourists and East Villagers and put them in front of a camera and you get the spectacle you saw last night.

First you have real NY residents, some good, some bad. They came they saw they tried...a few got in. The sad part is the jackasses who inserted themselves in as normal NYers and made complete fools of themselves on national television. I for one am beginning to tire of the producers sick need to put mentally unstable and/or deficient people in front of the camera as if this will amuse us. The bush baby, the Elvis torture test from Memphis and NY's crazy guitar playing psychic who hates her first name. She's sounds like Janis Joplin, Stevie Nicks and Led Zeppelin, appearently that's what they would sound like if you stuck them all into a small room with hungry bobcats. Sorry Julie, a real psychic would have known they had no chance...just ask Dionne Warwick and her Psychic Friends.

What really made me throw my shoe at the screen last night was this annoying nuisance Ian Bernardo. He's a total fraud, he wasn't even entertaining as a joke performer. He purposely showed up to be a jackass and all I wanted to do was hit him in the face with a boat oar. I honestly am not sure who I am more pissed at, Ian for being a worthless talentless hack, AI for giving this loser air time, or Fox news and everyone else who is interviewing this moron as if he is running for office. Please people ignore the morons and focus on the talent.

33 people made it through last night, but my fear is since Davita was one of them, how many other instant cut people got through today only to be sacrificed in Hollywood. Justin Timberlake kid showed some promise, and so did a few others but it seems like perhaps barely good enough might be enough this year. I'm not looking forward to the massive slaughterhouse they are lining up in Hollywood, but at least it will fill time for them.

One last note, I have no problem with Nicholas Pedro getting a second chance, however if I was on the panel he would only be allowed to try out with one song, "Buttercup".

The Big Crapple

Well, more people made it through from New York than from any other city so far, but it's possible that 2 or 3 thousand, and maybe even a million people auditioned there, so that's not so unexpected. I was pleased with quite a few of the auditions, but was sufficiently disappointed as to make another one of my lists. Writing these things is like debriefing after a major disaster. Hopefully Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder doesn't set in!

So, here are my "Top 10 Things A.I. Wannabes Should Know: New York Edition."

10. On Day 1, you will be so terrible that Simon will drink himself into oblivion (apparently until 3 AM!) and will be unavailable to start Day 2. The morning of Day 2 is your chance to slip through before the pompous blowhard with a hangover shows up. Once he gets here, Simon will not be amused by anything! You've been warned.

9. If you were rejected by that Brit on the dancing show, you will not do much better with the Brit on the singing show. This is for two reasons. First, antagonism is just not the best way to impress them. And second, you can't dance, nor can you sing. And you're just plain annoying!

8. If you are on the fence talent wise, offer to let the producers video you down by the Boardwalk in a bikini, and they'll let you go to Hollywood. One of you who was let through to Hollywood because Simon is a dirty old man at heart (not because you have "training") will crack notes on a "humorous" montage at the end. I wouldn't have high expectations in Hollywood if I were you.

7. Please, please, please limit your remarks to 15 seconds, tops. Begging and pleading will not work. I have seen it work only once or twice in 5 seasons, and those people didn't get that far anyway. It's great that you've been working so hard, and have "internalized" the music, and feel it's your chance, and know that the third time is the charm, and you've been to Hollywood twice and know what it's like, and you're up to the challenge, and your mother and sister and friend love you and think you are great, and you refuse to leave when you've been asked, and your hat is dope, and you love Simon, regardless of what anyone says, and . . .

Just go.

6. The age limit is 30. In the past, contestants have had to lie to get through to the judges, but this year we will be accepting one person over 30 to audition for the judges. You have no chance to go to Hollywood because you can't sing well enough, and even if you could, you are . . . too old! We will put you on television and we will waste the judges time with you. Thank you.

5. This is a singing competition. Don't tell me about your talent for: dancing, acting, songwriting, juggling, screaming, mumbling, storytelling, or anything else. "Look at the wall behind you, dawg!"

4. If you know you can't sing (and your friends have told you so), reference #5 above. We do not provide on-the-job training. This is not the Peace Corps, a student exchange program, work-for-food operation, or resume builder. Honestly! Are you serious?! Most people's friends say, "Oh, you're so great. You should try out for American Idol. Go for it!" Yours did not.

3. On a serious note, we will take the most energetic, enthusiastic, charismatic, fun-loving person here today, let you sing 2 songs, and then crush your dreams, along with the shred of self-esteem and dignity that you are clutching so dearly, without a second thought. It's what we do here at American Idol.

2. Therapist's endorsements will not be considered to be a credible source of information when determining who will go on to Hollywood. Nor will the opinions of "a friend," "my coworkers," "that guy in the subway," or "the voices in my head."

1. Paula will attempt to give constructive criticism to one of you, just one. Simon will not tolerate this. The judges do not have time to help anyone. They are far too busy listening to people who had no business auditioning for this show, mocking people relentlessly, and acting like giggly teens. Plus, Simon has a headache.

I'd give you more advice, but my haikus have become more sorrowful now.

New York attitude
Simon with a hangover
a match in heaven

There were some bright spots (Mr. Second Chance, Mr. 16, Mr. Shorts and a T-shirt, Miss Canada among them) so all in all it wasn't a bad 2 hours. I have high hopes for Birmingham because regardless of what Miss Opera says, we've seen more talent from the South in 5 seasons than anywhere else. It should be good.

The City That Doesn't Sleep . . .

. . . and apparently neither do I. I hate 2-hour audition shows. And yet I sit and blog. This show has a hold on me. Or I'm possessed.

No, I'm not possessed! Ian Benardo (see his shirt?) is possessed. Ian Benardo and his chinchilla (where's PETA when you need them?) and his multiple therapists . . . there's something wrong there. Very wrong. His therapist says he's a superstar. He sings of voices in his head. And he's totally full of himself. Now, those are the kind of bad auditions I can get into!

Sarah with the unsupportive parents. Cute girl. Okay voice. The whole lead up was a little too "reality TV" for me (for those new to my reviews, I don't think of AI as a reality show--it's more of a talent show. I'm being serious.). When she was crying and the cheesy music was playing, despite the lack of roses and candlelight and limos, I had to remind myself that she was in fact *not* a bachelorette rejected on the night of the finale. And the phone call to her dad was pretty anti-climactic. Maybe it was just a Sprint promo. Because, you know, text voting isn't enough.

I hated the "Days Of Our Lives" bit, too. So way over the top. That girl oughta listen to Carol and try out for Broadway, because if her singing doesn't get her on, her dramatic acting and oration will.

The 2 best friends and the beach ball intro? Blech! One of the camera operators clearly knows exactly when to zoom in on dirty-old-man Simon during auditions. He ogled that tall one and the camera zoomed right in on his face, mouth agape, pencil nervously twisting in his hands. Disgusting pig.

Anyway, they're both good. The blonde one reminds me of a girl in our ward (do you know who, people from around here?). I like the taller one better. They're both going through to Hollywood only in part because of their voices. They're pretty. And they're best friends. And Hollywood is spelled D-R-A-M-A. We already have Ryan's foreshadowing, which may or may not mean much, but anyway . . .

Cliff? Mr. "Average Joe?" Yeah, he apparently wandered onto the set of the wrong show. Wrong channel, too. I believe he's looking for that "Beauty and the Geek" show on the WB or whatever it's called now. And note to all contestants trying out: if they actually invite you to sing another song, don't play the harmonica.

Did that really need to be said?

Did you guys catch that quick clip of the guy from Lancaster, PA? I'm not quite sure what color his hair is. What is that . . . electrifying blue? Electrifying green?

Fidel Castro! Oh wait, those are Memphis's notes. (Flip paper).

Kia! Aretha Franklin. Ish. I don't love it, but she's good. And after her audition, I thought the judges had really caught on. THREE of them said "100%" and then Randy Jackson had to say, "1000%." AGAIN. Randy, you can't be 1000 per cent anything. Argh.

Day 2. Crap, there's another hour of this . . . 35 contestants they let through. 35! And in two hours, what do we see?? Chinchillas.

Jenry. I like him! That's some good eye candy with that nice voice. Can I say that about a 16-year-old? Very cute boy with a very nice voice.

By the way, I'm not liking the no-Simon dynamic. I was glad when he arrived, cell phones and all.

Nakia Campbell. HOLY BIPOLAR! She's fun! I like her! What energy! What an entrance! Good for her! YES! She is dancing in the streets and I like it! Go Nakia! Wait. Holy crud. She is off key BADLY when she reins it in. And what a totally different exit. Yikes. Maybe she should see one of Ian's therapists. And not the one who feeds his delusions.

Sarah Cowboy Goldberg. My gosh, I think she's drunk! She knows she can't sing! Is she crazy? No, I think she's drunk! She actually just said, "I don't think you have to sing to be an American Idol." She's drunk. Do you ever wonder about how those people must react when they sober up and watch themselves months later? Drunk on national television. Those people have family and friends and jobs. What's her tomorrow morning going to be like?

And Simon arrives. Hallelujah. New Yore! New Yore!

Jory. She's really good! Who is she? I don't have any indicators on my notes. Oh! The one with the big medallion from Canada (thanks, Mark). ;)

Porcelana. The one who's been working out for a year. She scares me. And when people wear pants that low, it makes me very, very nervous. I think I saw her, um, how do I say this politely? I think I saw a definite division of her posterior. I don't really like her. Maybe SHE is the Brenna Gathers of this season. With a white trash touch of Kim Caldwell. Frightening. In the extreme.

George Michael? Simon Cowell? No, that kid is an Osmond. But scary. A metro-Osmond. He sounds like a woman. A woman who can't stay in tune. That was a very strange thing to watch.

Rachel Zevita. Opera? Rock star? Something tells me she won't make it past Hollywood. This makes you also wonder about all the golden ticket holders. They're watching the show seeing everyone else who has received a golden ticket. Of course, they've already done Hollywood and they know whether or not they're contenders for the top 24. THAT they do once we watch all of this.

Oh, I'm so grateful for lots of commercials and the "fast forward" button on the TiVo remote.

Chris Richardson. I'm not quite sure why the judges got so excited about him. He sang way too fast and he sang a song that Elliott knocked out of the park. He sort of reminds me of Justin Timberlake, I guess. But I don't see what all the fuss is about. He was a bit nasaly and rushed. And he said he was singing a song (no pun intended) "interpretated" by Donny Hathaway. Yeah, I'm not feeling it on that one.

Okay, Nicholas Pedro. The guy who backed out in Hollywood this past season. From Taunton, MA. (Did you catch that, Mom?) I like him. I thought they might not let him through, but he has a nice voice. And being from my home state doesn't hurt.

Isadora. Or Julie. Whatever. What's this show rated? That has got to be the most embarrassing thing I have ever watched on TV. I had a visceral reaction. And not the good kind.

I love that Ryan is the host. "It's been 2 days for us. How many has it been for you?" ROTFL!

35 from New York. 35!! Maybe this year's American Idol will hail from New York. I don't know. Next week it's Birmingham!!

Bo out.

Week 2B - New York

Nice to have Carol amongst the judges. I love her music. I see Paula took the opportunity to have her sit between Simon and Randy for a change. Heh.

Ian needs a another couple of therapists. I hated him on So You Think You Can Dance...he was even worse here. Fran Drescher on crack, without the redeeming good looks. I'm glad he already has money - maybe that's his problem in the first place - clearly he's never worked for anyone's respect.

Sarah Burgess was good, and I'd like to see her back. Though I don't know how far she can go, she'll be interesting to watch. Definitely a story for the reality part of the show, even if she can't keep up with the talent. I'm betting her dad is a lot madder than he indicated on the phone call afterward.

Missed the next girl's name - that's okay.

Ashanti Johnson - not good enough, but I was less than amused by the soap opera setup they created to accompany her pleading.

Amanda and Antonella - off key together. Amanda - pitchy by herself, and needs more training. I wouldn't have passed her. Seemed to me she was passed on her looks. Antonella on her own was actually slightly better than Antonella. The judges agreed.
Good old 'kick em while they're down' Simon.

Clifton Biddle - not so much. What's the point of playing a harmonica on your second and last chance in a singing audition?!

Kia Thornton surprised me with her deep, powerful voice. Definitely a contender. I also liked Carol's advice. Simon seems to have gotten Bo's email about exceeding 100%, but Randy apparently missed it.

Jason, was it? Very good for his age. He'll be enjoyable to watch.

Kia - much worse on her second try. Should've have stuck to the first one.

Sarah Goldberg - no, thank you. Pretty smile, though. Too bad she's delusional. Simon was suspiciously/conveniently absent for this one. Did he know better from having met her earlier? Ah - no - just late for work.

Antonio - learning to pronounce your 'k's should happen shortly after getting your green card.

Jory - very nice singing, but she didn't move me, yet. Definitely worth a chance.

Porcelana Portino - her style is not to my personal taste, but she's definitely worked hard, and will continue to do so, and it all showed in her performance. I think she may have trouble with different genres, however.

Christopher Henry - range was too high for me or the competition, but definitely talented. Easy Simon prey, and of course he pounced.

Rachel Zevita - a bit loud, but decent talent. Just not quite good enough, for me, though I might have gone along with the crowd in letting her through. I predict an unhappy and probably dramatic end to her time with the show. Simon will have it in for her, but in the end, it won't just be his opinion.

Chris Richardson - refreshing, but I'm not convinced he's got the breadth. Still, definitely worth a shot. As Paula noted, he'll definitely be a hit with the ladies.

Nicholas (bowed out last season) Pedro - wonderful voice, with a unique, sexy edge. If he can learn/remember lyrics this season, he'll go a long way.

Clairvoyant Isadora should have known better (I'm typing this before hearing her, to prove I'm more psychic than she is - her flat affect gives it away). Surprise! I was right! For phone readings, feel free to call me at 1-800-555-1223, or see my page on Kasamba.com.

I'm beginning to understand that they don't have time (in the decent cities) to show all the good ones that get the golden ticket, so it's better to show some of the disasters than hand-pick only from the golden prospects, which would set those contestants up with viewer expectations more so than the occasional golden ticket we get to see as it is.

See you next week!...

...John

Memphis

I didn't get to watch the show till today (sorry Stacy! ;) ), but it's still the auditions, which are pretty much all the same. In fact, that's what I'll start off with today!

I think I could write one review for all the auditions, then copy and paste it each week and it would be accurate!

It would go something like this:

I generally like everyone they put through. It's hard to really see what they've got when you only see them for a few seconds, but I look forward to seeing them in the future and seeing what they're *really* like.

The weirdos come out of the woodwork for the auditions no matter where they're at! There's a plentiful supply, and they're drawn to the AI tryouts. You can count of Fox to show them for about 95% of the show!

Notable moments in Memphis:

Ryan's picnic tablecloth shirt

Sundance's surprisingly good voice

Carol Brady's haircut on magenta hair

"I'm tempted to ask if you sang that to your wife the night before she left" - What a jerk you are Simon!

Melinda the back up singer - I *loved* what I saw of her! Her humility was refreshing, especially since she's sings REALLY WELL, unlike others who *aren't* humble, yet sing terribly!

Priorities: You miss the birth of your baby for AI tryouts? We'll give him the benefit of the doubt and say the baby wasn't expected that morning... I don't remember his name, but I agree with Randy: I really liked his voice but did NOT like watching him sing! We'll see what he's got in the future...

When they showed the "golden ticket holders" at the end, I recognized almost no one! I hope we get to see a little more of them before they get booted out of Hollywood.

That's all for now...you east coasters will be watching tonight's episode in 15 minutes!

Week 2A - Memphis

Hopefully my opinions won't be affected by the fact that President Bush had the audacity to delay the airing of American Idol with his sad attempt to impress us yet again with his failed presidency...

The first guy was just bad.

Timika Sims had a memorable name, but horrible singing. At least Simon made it clear to her that she wanted to be a mayor???!!!

Next guy was cocky and sucked.

Alexis looked like Olive Oyl. Also not good.

Sundance Head looks like he's gonna do Elvis. Nope. Pretty darn good for the genre he prefers. Can he make it through the different styles?

Wandira was okay, but just okay. I can't blame the judges for passing.

Travis McKinney was a joke after his self-styled buildup to an expectation of an 'emotional' song. What WAS that?

Danielle was somewhat better than okay, but I tend to agree with Randy that she won't last long unless the crowd at home passes her on her looks.

'Topher' McCain - naw.

I missed the name of the next girl, but didn't miss her singing. I still don't. I wish I had...and didn't.

Sean Michel - fair voice, but the song seemed original, and I'm a little leery of the part where the Lord told Sean to get out there and change the world. That's Tom Cruise's job, since the Scientologists made him Christ.

Melinda Doolittle did a lot with 'For Once In My Life' - very good, and will last awhile. She has the potential to grow through the show and potentially win.

Robert Lee Holmes - clearly disappointed in the judges' failure to recognize...something.

Philip Stacy - Very good potential. Simon just doesn't like him cuz he's shaved his head, so naturally he must be inferior to Simon's thick locks.


In parting, I have to borrow, briefly, Dr. Mark's style of listing 'dont's':

1) DON'T remove your underwear without removing your pants, while singing. It's distracting, and they didn't look clean. Your mama taught you better.

2) DON'T remove your underwear AFTER removing your pants, while singing (thought I'd include that, just in case).

See you, sorry - y'all - tomorrow...

John

I've Got the Blues in Memphis

One hour. Perfect. It was almost too short this time . . . almost. I was pleased with the relative dearth of costumes, props, and animals. Considering more people made it from Memphis than in the previous two cities, I was disappointed in that we were not treated to a bit more talent. But all in all, it was a decent show.

On to my "Top 10 Things A.I. Wannabes Should Know: Memphis Edition."

10. Would you please stop mumbling?! I know Bucky made mumbling fashionable and profitable (think "I'm mery sumadishus"), but please enunciate!!! If the judges can't understand you, you can't go to Hollywood.

9. Heads up--Randy is a bit more himself today. I think returning to his southern home (Alabama's not far away) has helped the dawg feel a bit better. Oh, he's still on a mission to rid the world of pathetic singers, furthering his greatness as a member of a famous rock band, but he's at least a little more pleasant and funny today.

8. Never, and I mean ne-ver tell the judges "I can dance" or "I can do it all" or "I am a triple threat" or any such statement so as to give the impression of multiple talents. Chances are the singing isn't much better either.

7. We at American Idol have decided to inconvenience the city of Memphis by blocking off various important areas in town so people will think all of the city came to audition. Cheap trick, I know, but we are just full enough of ourselves to think all the world cares.

6. Anyone thinking of using profane language or hand gestures, be warned. We have to pay someone to put those things on the video later, and we're going to have to pay the guy overtime this week because of all of you (plus we had to pay the Queen a bit after she laid into us for using her national flag last week in such a rude and tasteless manner). So this week, we will be collecting a fee for each incident of profanity or lewd gesturing.

5. If you pull your underwear out of your pants while singing, and toss it on the floor, we will not pick it up. We will not wash it. It will remain there until someone is brave enough to dispose of it. Oh, and you will not make it through to Hollywood.

4. Simon is not a big fan of encores, so begging to sing another song, or just launching into another selection will not erase the memories of a terrible first choice. "First is the worst, Second is the best" only works in the lunch line in 3rd grade.

3. Lefty and righty falling out of your dress will not be construed as "conservative" or "innocent." The way it is going to happen today will not be construed as "sexy" either. It's mostly just disturbing and annoying.

2. No Elvis impersonators will be allowed on camera today. It's just too cheesy in Memphis. Maybe in Las Vegas. But, skinny guys dressed nothing like Elvis, who refuse to realize that doing "motions with the music" is the same as dancing, and then sing an Elvis song will be allowed to audition. And if you have good vocals and a good voice, that helps.

1. We are facilitating political asylum for a Caribbean dictator today, so don't be alarmed. Plus, Fidel can sing!

Bonus advice from the Doctor for all of you auditioning in Memphis today, again, haiku style.

Elvis--gone today
Cuban Jesus takes his place
A.I. strikes again

So, week 2A is in the books, and 2B promises to wow us! The promos from New York look innocuous enough. I can't wait to see what 2 hours tomorrow bring us.

Walking in Memphis

Well at least I have a *good* song in my head tonight. Now, THAT is what I call a GOOD audition show! A few not-so-great performances and a BUNCH of great ones! That's what I like to see!

I'm not sure why I like it so much tonight. It could be that the auditions were MUCH better than the previous week. It could be that it's only a 1-hour show. It could be that they showed a "Shrek the Third" promo. I don't know.

Frank Byers, cheerleader. I predicted the word "cabaret" coming from Simon's mouth. Give me a "C!" . . . at least even the "bad" auditions are good. This is a major step up.

Timika Sims. I didn't understand her either. But I love the slow, hokey music bio! And I'm totally curious to see what Mark's typing right behind me. Mr. Bucky impersonator himself.

Sundance Head. WOW. And Simon doesn't like Taylor, does he?

Another ogling moment. Simon to cute blonde after Randy disses her: "I know what Randy's saying, but (something, something, tone, voice, something), you're cute, Renee Zelweg . . . I mean, Danny! You have a blues-y tone that's unusual for someone your age."

Girl with her breasts falling out, I mean, sunglasses--Did she say that their first impression of her would be that she's "innocent, conservative, and sexy?" How is it possible to be none of those at the same time?

Fidel Castro! WOW! I love his voice! I hope he makes it past Hollywood and into the Top 12 just so the hair and make-up people can have their way with him. I wonder what's under all that hair?!

Back-up singer that looks like a short Jennifer Hudson--very good! Her neck emerges when she sings and goes away when she self-consciously talks, but she's good.

Once more, this time for the benefit of Randy and Simon, you can't be "one million per cent" anything.

Wow, this is so much better than the first week . . .

Stupid montages . . . What the heck is that guy pulling out of his pants?! . . .

And Phil Stacy? The guy who missed the birth of his baby? He DID sound better on the start of the 2nd song. Stupid Simon.

Meet Here After The Show!

It's Tuesday! As always, meet here after the show for hilarious reviews and lots of laughs!

American Idol Meets the Oscars

More big news for past A.I. contestants. Apparently a Golden Globe wasn't enough--now Jennifer Hudson's been nominated for an Oscar for her role in Dreamgirls. I don't know how much A.I. had to do with her success now, but it sure gives new meaning to the phrase, "I don't need this show to be famous!"

Read the article here.

Cruelty on A.I.? Never!

I came across this article and thought it was interesting. I'll say nothing more about it.

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/ent/4489184.html

What I'd Like, But What I Will

I thought it would be fun to "warm up" as we enter week 2 of the audition shows. Don't worry. I won't mention again how I really don't like these shows, but continue to watch anyway. I won't say it. I won't alienate any of you again. I refuse to. Anyway, this activity is called "What I'd Like, But What I Will." I'm going to list a few things I'd like to see on the show this week, and then I'll list a few things I think I will see. Here we go!

What I'd Like

1. In an unprecedented move, the producers of "American Idol" refuse to allow anyone dressed in a costume to appear before the judges. These people will need to "change or go home." Oh, and they'll have to be able to sing.

2. Randy decides that it really isn't cool to be mean, especially since his witticisms include the cerebral, "dude, dawg, dude" and the intelligently thought out "I dunno." Instead he will opt for constructive criticism stemming from years of experience in the industry, shunning frequent references to playing in the "greatest band of all time" or working with anyone labeled the "greatest ________ in the known (world, universe, etc.)

3. Paula will stop making silly jokes about how she'd like to vomit when she sees Simon, or how their children would look like dogs, or any of the like. She will just admit she sort of likes him and then she can cut out all of the teen-age flirting.


What I Will

1. Elvis impersonator after Elvis impersonator after Apollo Creed/Uncle Sam/Statue of Liberty after Elvis impersonator, all with little singing talent, parade before the judges, stealing airtime from talented singers honestly trying to "make it."

2. Thousands of people proclaim, "I AM the next American Idol."^TM, wave at the screen, and then prove why there is only one American Idol and millions of people who are NOT.

3. More humiliated people add insult to injury by trying to open the left door. PLEASE! Someone put a sign on that door!

Enjoy the show!

Scoop's Blog

Well, one of my online researcher colleagues has been toying with a concept. Here is his test blog:

http://realitytvreport.blogspot.com/

He's not expanding it, but he's working on launching something else. When he does, we can post about it here. In the meantime, enjoy poking around the site for some interesting links and stories! And thanks for the link, too! :)

Caption This!

Okay, everyone, here's something just for fun (2 more days and then we're back to more Idol)! Use the comment section, "caption this," and have fun!