And then there were 3 . . .

Our kids spent most of the evening confused since Ryan was talking about sending everyone home, "safe" or not. You're safe! You're going home! It's the end of the road, you're going home! What? We had to keep explaining the difference between going home and going on a hometown visit. The whole thing really made the results much less dramatic.

I've decided that there are no surprises at this point since they're all good. I'm glad Kris is safe. I'm disappointed that Allison hasn't gotten the praise she deserves. That kid is extremely talented. I love her voice.

Beyond that, dear readers, I refer you to Magistra since she, as usual, captured it all so well. Enjoy. Click here for her very, very good review.

Idol Gossip

Every week, I read Magistra's posts on Philly Burbs. I'd love to be discovered by some site or paper and be asked to write about Idol. Omigosh, can you imagine? Or Amazing Race. Or both!

I digress.

Her post about yesterday was VERY interesting and she pointed out something I hadn't noticed to the extent she had. After reading her review, we rewatched a few parts of the show and she is spot on . . . something was VERY wrong between Kris and Danny yesterday. Watch it again if you can--it's there. And you don't have to dig too hard to find it.

Anyway, check it out. And keep your eye on things tonight . . .

P.S. I love that she calls Kris a monchichi . . . the child of the 80s in me LOVES that reference. LOVE it.

What?! No Rockin' Robin?!

Rock and Roll night finally arrived on Idol, which was a long-anticipated event for Thing 2. It pretty much played out like I'd expected--a widening gap between contestants, ridiculous comments from the judges, and the mosh pit full of posers. Slash was a fairly useless mentor as far as I could tell. He was good for the "is that a nose ring/watch me smoke a cigarette while playing guitar in a music video/topless guitar soloist from the 80s" sort of entertainment value, but I think all those drugs may have altered his ability to provide beneficial, constructive criticism for the contestants. They all seemed to "have fun," though, so score a point for another one-name wonder.

Now, let me make a list of my non-performance-related complaints (well, the ones I haven't listed yet). I'm just in that kind of mood, I guess.

*Predictably, Simon will start to turn on certain contestants in order to engineer a finale he's predicted, regardless of the true merits (or lack thereof) of each performance.

*What the hell happened to Kara? She and Slash must have shared a little somethin' somethin' before the show because she was out there! Maybe her hair was pulled back too tightly, at least the hair that wasn't trying to escape upward.

*Either the tower wasn't really that broken or that beverage sponsor wields some amazing power over the flow of the show because no way I do the cola interview under that thing!

*We deserve to know how the duets were picked, because the conspiracy theorist in me would say they're looking to influence the voters. The pairings were perfect, but a little transparency would be appreciated.

*I think Kara is making up words every week. It's like a new obsession with her. I've never heard of giving someone a "prop," as in one prop. I guess that's for when you're not sufficiently impressed enough to give out "props" or even better, "mad props."

OK, on to my contestant-by-contestant thoughts.

Adam Lambert: Really, all he could do this week was either hold steady or fail miserably. Obviously this is the week we really expected him to shine and that's what he did. I still think he's an amazing talent and deserves to be in the finale, but I wonder if his polarizing style will end up being much of a factor. I think there is a fairly sizable subset of the population that doesn't care for him at all. I just don't know if it 's the people that vote. His duet with Allison was great, by the way. It was so apparent that they were both in their element, enjoying the moment with each other, and I think the hugs and smiles were 100% genuine. In American Idol speak that's "1 million percent."

Allison Ireheta: She deserved way more praise than she got. What is wrong with people judging this thing? Even if they weren't crazy about the song selection, she still sounded great. I'm glad to see her give it back to Simon, and of course he was good natured about it. This girl is a great talent and based on tonight should go on without a problem. On her duet with Adam you almost get the feeling that we were watching the finale already, but there is one more week to go.

Kris Allen: I love how the judges called this legendary Beatles' song "not a great song." Give me a break. Randy made the most sense and was the most believable in his praise of Kris. Kris definitely infused his style into the song and made the most of a week where he was overshadowed by Adam before he even got to pick his song. Randy was right about his duet with Danny, too--the harmonies were great but the overall performance was just alright. Again, for a week where the genre was difficult, the duet sounded pretty good. They didn't seem as comfortable together as Adam and Allison, but it's tough to say whether it was because of the theme or chemistry.

Danny Gokey: Don't do that. Ever. No, no. Danny is no Steven Tyler. Not even close. I have no idea what he was thinking with this song. I don't know what would possess this church choir singer to try and scream at the end. I'm not entirely clear how Slash even held a straight face while discussing this song. It wasn't even a little good, and I'm sick over how the judges gave him more credit than they did Kris. There was no comparison. No, no. I like Danny, but I've got to be fair here.

I don't know how they'll break the news this week. Hopefully they just have the three guest artists perform and then hand out a single "you over there, you're going home." I'm sure there will be a bit more suspense, though.

Based on tonight, Skipping the Hometown Visit, but Still Getting One Prop from Kara: Danny Gokey

Rock Night on Idol

Warning: I'm in a rare bad mood. Our hot water tank is having issues. Again. (Long story). And we missed both a concert and a party tonight to be here for the repair guy to come fix it. He didn't show nor did he call. We have a house guest coming in a week (that, we're excited about) and we want it fixed before he gets here (oh, it will be). And I might be slightly hormonal tonight. You've been warned.

So Ryan started us off by telling us that tonight we're "very live." I wondered if that meant no FCC 3-second delay for possible wardrobe malfunctions. But apparently it means that towers were falling and glass was popping and the Idols didn't get to have a dress rehearsal.

But, as they say, the show must go on. And now that I've watched it, I wish part of it hadn't. Yikes.

I know they have to do the weekly intro of the judges, but I really wish they'd just smile and wave. You know, like Paula does.

Instead we're subjected to Randy . . . what is that, woofing?, Kara opening her mouth and waving her arms like a groupie at a bus station, Paula (smile and wave), and disinterested Simon who sort of stares, looks like he's thinking about his next smoke break, and rolls his eyes.

And as if that's not enough, we also have to sit through Randy booing Simon every time he's introduced as if that's funny. It's not funny. It's insufferable. And whoever is in charge of his mic should be fired for not cutting his audio after his ceremonial woofing.

And Slash. As a mentor. Obviously a shameless plug for his new album, because honestly, he added absolutely nothing of value. He had nothing of substance to say and very little advice. Methinks his brain is a wee bit fried from one too many puffs of doobie (and yes, I had to Google that to find out if I was using it correctly. Shut up.)

Adam ("A Whole Lotta Love" by Led Zeppelin): Honestly he scared me a little. I like toned-down Adam better (think Ring of Fire, Mad World, Tracks of my Tears), though he obviously still did a slammin' job. Kara, with her magic rock hair, seemed extra hyper tonight. I mean, holy crap. Rock God? I might've enjoyed that comment if I hadn't spent the entire time wondering what my accountant brother-in-law would think of the performance while I looked for coded messages in Adam's eyes. So I can give credit where it's due, but if I'm being honest, I didn't love it. Personal preference. QUEEN. I said QUEEN, Adam.

Allison ("Cry Baby" by Janis Joplin): This girl just does NOT get enough credit. The judges should be pointing out constantly that she is the last girl standing. By. A. Freaking. Mile. Her performance may not have been her best to date, but dude, she's 17 and has mad, mad pipes. And when she finally talked back and let Simon have it? She won me over. And that's saying something, because the back talk is generally off putting to me. But tonight? I wanted to cheer out loud for her--the talking back was great and it was honestly about time. Unlike Lil who had the same nonsense to say every time after weekly horrid performances, Allison actually has substance, soul, sass, AND the ability to sing. So, you tell him, girl! She should be praised to the hills for what she does. And then some.

Duet by Danny and Kris: Okay, that was kind of weird. It was good. But it was also weird. I agree with Randy--the harmony was good, the individual vocals not so much. But, while neither of these guys is a rocker by nature, I think Kris is more natural at it than awkward Danny. Kris has a sexy Chris Daughtry stance and seems to have a very natural relationship with the mic stand and the stage. Whereas Danny just looks like he just signed up for dance lessons in a class during some awkward adolescent stage to --insert deep, manly voice here-- *scratch* "learn coordination for sports." *snort*

And the judges judging the duets is just stupid. But what really ticks me off is stupid jerkface Simon and his apathetic shoulder shrug and snide laughter, "What? What do you want me to say? Who's better?" Idiot. It's a duet. No one asked who's better. Moron.

Kris ("Come Together" by The Beatles): I think it's charming that he said of singing with Slash, "I almost wanted to pee my pants," don't you? I don't know that I'd call his performance the lunchtime equivalent of chewing ice made of mineral water. No, scratch that. I categorically would not have called it that at all. In fact, that analogy never would've entered my head, mineral, bottled, tap, or otherwise. It wasn't great, but I think Kris was smart to choose The Beatles. I think Kris's biggest challenge is being taken seriously. He has a baby face. He looks like some kid playing with his band in a garage when he's on stage. Kind of like that kid in that movie "The Rocker." I should know. We've been trying to get through that movie for 3 nights. I keep falling asleep. I apparently need commercials to fast forward. Kris's performance wasn't amazing, but he didn't deserve the slamming he got.

Danny ("Dream On" by Aerosmith): How'd you like that little Where's Waldo Find Danny in the mosh pit bit before the commercial? Yeah, me either. That was a train wreck. Danny actually got more credit tonight for "effort" and "risk" (neither of which paid off) than Kris did for actually singing well! That last note being like a scream in a horror movie? Now that is an analogy I can get on board with. And if we're going to critique, Danny's intonation is so bizarre (mirror becomes meeeror and true becomes trewwww). It's very distracting. But not distracting enough for me to not notice the horrible singing and performing tonight. What the ?? What on earth was he thinking? I don't think he was. That was really bad. The first part of the performance was way too slow and Danny looked drugged. Now I know he was doing it on purpose thinking, "Crap, oh crap. Sing slow, Danny. Drag it out, man. Maybe it'll go way over into Fringe and Fox will cut it off before I totally slaughter that last note. Dude, I cannot hit that note. What the hell was I thinking choosing this song? Fall, towers, fall!"

Man, I knew he wouldn't hit that note even before he started the song. Slash knew it. Remember Slash? The MENTOR. Obviously he knew it by what he said. Some mentor. At what point did he decide not to tell Danny that there was no way he was going to even come close to pulling that off? That was a wrong song choice if I've ever heard one. That should win some kind of "wrong song choice" award. And it should be displayed. In every Idol's mansion bedroom from this season forward, serving as a reminder that "No. No, no, no." As in no no no no no. (Sorry, I could only find it in Spanish).

My favorite part of Danny's, well, everything tonight was when Paula said, "How many Danny fans are out there?" and they went to shot of three 6-year-olds holding a Go-Go-Gokey sign and having a very delayed reaction to the question. That part made me laugh out loud. I think the nervous tension that had collected during his performance had to come out. It was just so wrong. That was a bad, bad, crazy bad last note. Poor Danny doesn't even know yet how bad it was. Like he said, he'll find out when he watches it back. Or perhaps he got a taste when the editors (who should apparently also be fired) decided to put that clip of his song in that reminder-of-tonight's-performances montage. Even Paula sat down from her dancing and air punches when he hit (or rather, didn't) that note. I think on some level, he had to know. Hence the awkward overcompensating with the band afterward. You know, the part that made me flashback to his dance class sign up? And then Simon's prescient "I think you're going to be safe" comment got an audible gag from me. Hmmmm, who did he predict would be in the finals? Oh yeah, that's right. Adam and Danny. And God forbid Simon be wrong. Idiot.

Duet by Adam and Allison: If there was a saving grace tonight, this was it. The singing was phenomenal, but it was only enhanced by their matching boots, twinner hairstyle outing to Adam's "hair girl," and how they absolutely ran to each other after their performance. I loved it! These two are natural rockers and it shows. EVERY time. Loved it. I've been vacillating between an Adam-Allison finale and an Adam-Kris finale, but tonight told me what I really want. Based on tonight, I hope it comes down to these 2 in the finale. They deserve it. Adam will win and that's fine, but this would be an enjoyable finale.

And based on tonight, Danny should go home. Or sign up for dance lessons. Or do sound effects for horror movies. Or chew ice for lunch. Something.

Best to worst:

Adam
Allison
Kris
Danny

Going home:

Anyone's guess. This top 4 rocks. Duets with any other top 4 would've bombed. Badly. Thank goodness Lil is gone.