Finale! The New American Idol: Jordin Sparks!

I wrote my headline before the show started: Finale! The New American Idol: Jordin Sparks! If I have to change it, I'll be very surprised, but not unhappy at all.

Now on to a star-studded show!

The judges all look spiffy, and Simon Cleavage is clinging to his fashion statement.

The 'I'll Never Dance With Another' duet is a collaborative challenge for Jordin and Blake, but they carry it off.

Gwen Stefani's performance is wonderful, of course.

Kelly Clarkson was 'shouting' a little...LOL!...but showed them how it's done.

The Golden Idols?! Is this new? Ah - just another version of "those who sucked". What a farce! But it was pretty funny when Margaret 'Big Bird' Fowler smothered Ryan with a full-body pressed kiss.

The Top 6 Guys performed some great harmony! Smokey Robinson joining them was a lovely treat! Now that's some good production! Excellent!

Blake's beatboxing duet with Doug E Fresh was just hott, but his mic could have used some more volume. Still, he clearly has a huge future.

The Top 6 Girls and Gladys Knight production wasn't quite as hott as the guys, but they made it work!

Tony Bennett's performance was surprisingly powerful! Incredible how much passion he can still muster at his age.

They had to replay the whole 'monkey boy' fiasco? Gag me with a backhoe. I guess they think that giving them an award will somehow make up for it. It was, however, very nice to see that the guy was able to evolve to the point of being able to forgive and thank Simon for making him famous.

Melinda and company was awesome. I'll say again that a finale between Jordin and Melinda would have been the contest to hear.

Carrie Underwood was stunning, singing 'I'll Stand By You'. What a treasure AI bestowed on the world in discovering her. Her energy is a pure blessing to all who hear her.

Clive Davis' review of the AI achievements to date was pretty impressive, and Carrie Underwood's sales of 6 million albums, along with her other awards, is truly a testament to AI.

The African Children's Choir was a breath of pure joy.

The tribute to Sanjaya would have been almost funny if he hadn't done such a good job hanging with Joe Perry of Aerosmith. He performed smartly, as usual. Of course the girl who cries hysterically was featured prominently in the audience.

John Lennon's 'Working Class Hero' was surprisingly potent and relevant to our times, and very well done.

Taylor Hicks brought the house down with his bad self, and I loved the harmonica!

Ruben Studdard and Jordin Sparks' duet was wonderful!

Overall, this has been one heckuva finale show! Can it get any better!?

Yes! Bette Midler, one of my very favorite stars, sings 'Wind Beneath My Wings'. She seems a little off tonight. I think she may act better than she sings at this point of her life, but I love this woman's spirit!

The 'Seargent Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band' tribute was a hoot. Taylor Hicks singing 'I Read The News Today' was trippy. Carrie Underwood was more than competent, as usual. Ruben Studdard had fun with 'Lucy In The Sky'. The Top 12 definitely 'Get By With A Little Help' from their friends.

The big moment has to be next, with 2 minutes left in the show...and that's before the commercials. My computer registers 9pm halfway through the commercials. I guess Fox News will have to wait...

74 million votes don't lie. Randy names Jordin, Paula waffles, Simon gives it to Jordin. Jordin's facial expressions and body language say she already knows. And sure enough...but then the awesomeness of it starts to sink in, and she starts to fall apart. Can she pull it together enough to sing the schlocky contest winning song? Yeah, she gets it together by the bridge and owns it!

But then she almost loses it again...that's gotta be rough! Talk about a moment of emotional honesty!

Hail Jordin! Long live the Idol!

Top 3 Minus 1

This should be interesting! I'll reiterate my relative certainty that the Finale will be between Melinda and Jordin, but anything is possible tonight, and all three of them are sure to find great success in their futures.

Jordin is first under the ominous music, so it seems very likely she is safe. No. They're just messing with our minds, yet again. Ryan's stern looks to Simon following his repetition of Simon's criticisms of Jordan's performances last night was priceless.

They pull the same stunt with Blake, and, yes, you're that predictable.

Ohhh...I can't imagine the excitement in Bo's house...here comes Elliot Yamin! Wonderful job! They submit him to the judges' reviews, and, of course Simon has to kid about not liking it. And Elliot's off-handed endorsement of Porsches is priceless.

The segments with the contestants' visits home are pretty interesting and heartwarming.

Melinda faces the 'music' last, but we're no closer to any decision.

Having Maroon 5 perform seems like a subtle nod in recognition of Blake's style, since he covered them last night. Very good performance.

And the results. Again, Jordin is named first, and is a finalist. No surprise here. Melinda is called next, and is going home. Simon looks clearly disappointed. I admit being a little surprised, but I can acknowledge that Blake appeals to an age group that is more at the heart of AI listeners, while Melinda appeals to an older, less populous segment of listeners who appreciate her consistency more than Blake's talent for the modern and experimental (yes, like me). LOL!

I'm nonetheless conviced that Jordin's talent and age will appeal to a broader segment of the youthful listeners, as well as the older crowd that loved Melinda, so I think she'll win by a landslide, barring something spectacularly positive or negative next week.

See you next week!

...John

Top 4 Minus 1 - Barry Gibb Performs!

Excitement settles gently into my living room as the inevitable whispers of the impending show emanate from behind the commercials on my TV screen, which are about to give way to the all too familiar American Idol theme song...

There it is!

The judges switch seats, but not in a way which distances Paula from Simon's abusive immediacy, so what's the point?

Street interviews reveal pretty well-split opinions on the finalists. It's truly anyone's guess who will be leaving, but I consider my judgments, of course, to be semi-professional, and better than a street poll...sort of how Simon feels, divided by 1000... ; )

Both Phil Stacey and Chris Richardson had interviews and performances on the Ellen Degeneres Show today. Both did well. Phil was wearing a U.S. Navy First Class Petty Officer uniform, and he noted that he wasn't sure whether he'd get to go on tour, and that his first responsibility was to the Navy. Ellen, of course, asserted that they should let him perform.

Pink performs. It was okay, but didn't disract me from typing the above and nibbling on tempura shrimp...yum!

Lakisha looks like a manager at Burger King in the contestants' Ford commercial this week.

At this point the judges have switched their seats back to normal...? Ryan seems to make a point of having the camera show this without offering any explanation.

The contestants' choral BG medley starts off with Melinda's mic on mute. Hmph.

Lakisha is talking to herself in preparing herself for the possibility of leaving.

Thank God they took the time to spend half the show plugging The Fantastic Four (okay, my sarcasm is a little rusty. and less subtle than it could be).

The contestant background histories were interesting.

Ryan wisely lays the all too gag-me-with-a backhoe "right after this" ploy at the feet of the producers. I feel for him.

The contestants' self-protective huddle was kinda cute. Jordin is first, and is safe, not surprisingly.

AI is moving into the band business, soliciting tapes and DVDs from bands for a competition. Cool!

Barry Gibb performs. His vocalization seems a little stilted. It doesn't seem that he can hold a note for very long anymore. Another burnt out singer, but ya gotta give him props as a composer. He does seem to improve a bit as the song develops.

Melinda, predictably, is safe. Simon guesses Lakisha will go, despite objections to doing so from the other judges.

Blake is safe. Lakisha is going, just as I predicted. She sings herself out with good spirit.

See you next week!

John

Idol Gives Back No More--Down to 4

So, the charity is over, and to make up for past generosity Idol kicks off two contestants this week. Sort of makes last week's most shocking results ever seem like pseudokindness. Anyway, Phil's gone not because he didn't rock Bon Jovi night, but because he waited until Tuesday to really bring it. And with so many excellent female singers there is only room for one guy, and it's Blake (obviously, after his amazing Tuesday performance), so sorry to Chris, but mad props for the effort he's put into this competition. With the extra rehearsals and work with professionals he could be quite entertaining on tour.

I have questions as always after the results show, and here they are:

1. Do we really need to bring back boogie and bring back Barry Gibbs? Haven't we all be Bee-Gee'd out?

2. Did anyone else think three other Idol winners would perform last night? Honestly, they could have flashed up that toll-free number and had a chimp mime someone making a phone call and it would have been at least as entertaining as watching Taylor plead for money. And shame on Ryan for actually comparing these three spots to last week's performances by Kelly and Carrie.

3. When did Bon Jovi get back together for this tour thing? I was actually very impressed by their performance last night. I could tell from Jon's work with the contestants that he does have quite a bit of musical talent.

4. How many other people got the willies from that Robin Thicke performance? When I saw him at first, I thought he was the guy from the back of my high school economics class who was always muttering something about computing odds ratios and mean values or something like that. We couldn't even understand the last bit of his song and were saying to each other what our best guess was. Then our daughter says in all sincerity, "Maybe it was a different language." Not a bat bet. Honestly, he didn't seem like a guy that could have a #1 R&B hit right now. (As an aside, I went to his website and found out that: (a)He doesn't always sing in falsetto, and (b)He has at least one song with the requisite "U" for "You" substitution to legitimize his claim as an R&B star.)

5. Was anyone else nervous that Phil was going to forget to sing with his wife? How would that have gone down when they got home?

6. Did Chris actually say he'd go home for Blake? I have a hard time believing that!

So, Boogie or Bee-Gees or Disco or some other crazy week next. At least only 4 people will have to sing it, but they'll probably do it twice! Here we go again . . .

Top 6 minus 2 - Bon Jovi Performs!

Alrighty then...this is gonna hurt a little...

Ryan's promise of "no filler" is a joke, and he clearly shows it with his facial expression.

Simon misconstrues Ryan's 'puppet' remark and demands an apology from Ryan. LOL! He recovers quickly enough, though, and manages a fast return to a civil mood.

filler...I'm

filler...going

filler...to

filler...cook

filler...shrimp & egg noodles

Ah. Results. Melinda is safe. Lakisha is safe. Phil is going home. I guess his last three weeks wasn't quite enough to save him. I'm not sorry. He done good, but he ain't heavy.

His parting song lyrics now seem ominous: "I don't know where I'm going...I'm going down in a blaze of glory." He really is, and I wish him and his family well.

Mmmm...good noodles and shrimp... ; )

They let Jordin off the hook after last week's torture. Good, but not enough. That leaves Chris and Blake, and I think Chris will be the one to go. If not, Blake will have learned something valuable by the risk he took, regarding how wide of an audience his unique stylings will appeal to. He'll certainly have a loyal following if he leaves, but I think he'll be staying.

Bon Jovi - What can be said. Wonderful. Rock on!

I can even tolerate the Ford commercial better, now that Mike Rowe from 'Dirty Jobs' is doing them. I love that guy, and his voice is a pleasure to listen to.

Chris is leaving, as I thought, but it's nice to hear that he and Blake plan to tour together, and I'm sure Ellen will have him on before long.

Gotta go listen to the song contest entries...

John


P.S. I'm betting at least a nickel that that's Dr. Mark singing 'Someday' in the contest entries. I've never heard his voice, but it matches what he looks like, and the simple piano with violin in the background seems about right for his studio skills. Am I right?

Top 6 minus 1 - Idol Gives Back - Ellen Degeneres Co-Hosts - Too Many Stars To Name Perform!

This is going to be an awesome show!

Ryan starts by going for perfection on his opening announcement. That says how intent they are on making this the best show ever... or at leas he is... ; )

Earth, Wind and Fire - wonderful!

Randy's visit to New Orleans was just sad. That's Ellen's home state, too.

The top 6 did a marvelous job with Quincy Jones' 'It's Time to Share'.

Ben Stiller's singing is funny...

The video of Simon in Africa was quite revealing... he clearly does have a heart.

Melinda Doolittle is safe.

Paula's trip to the Boys & Girls Clubs was touching.

Il Diva's performance of 'Somewhere' was a little pitchy... ; )
But the accompany video was awesome.

Jack Black's spirit is wonderful! Simon's comment about him being better than Sanjaya was a riot, and Sanjaya took it well.

Blake Lewis is safe. I'm thinking they aren't going to divulge the bottom 2 or 3 tonight, so we may never know how close anyone came to being booted, but clearly, Blake pulled himself up a notch since last week.

Carrie Underwood's performance of 'I'll Stand By You' was simply excellent, and very moving.

Rascal Flats sounded great.

Excuse me while I dig my credit card out of the duct tape wallet I made the other night...

The 'Stayin' Alive' video montage was cool.

Phil Stacey is safe. That leaves Lakisha, Jordin, and Chris, meaning Lakisha and Chris.

Ellen donated $100,000. Typical Ellen 'the Generous'.

Josh Groban's 'You Lift Me Up' was just lovely, and the African Children's Choir was a beautiful touch. Very moving.

Kelly Clarkson's 'I've Been Up To The Mountain' was excellent.

Lakisha Jones is on the spot. She's safe, so there goes Chris. Will they make him, er... considering the quality of the other performances tonight, make that let him perform one last time?

Here comes the star duet. Celine Dion and Elvis Presley! Damn if that doesn't look and sound like the King! Was the look-alike lip-syncing to the real Elvis?

Annie Lennox sings 'Bridge Over Troubled Water'. Wonderful.

Jordin and Chris are both safe. Poor Jordin almost went into shock when Chris was announced to be safe before she was. That was pretty cruel, really. It's nice they didn't want to boot anyone on a charity night, but that was just harsh.

They all sound awesome in 'This Is My American Prayer'.

See you next week!

...John

Can Idol give back 30 of those minutes?

I'm actually a bit surprised that Sanjaya is actually done. Honestly, it's fair at this point (and at many points in the past), but give the guy credit for all he's done. He came out week in and week out and gave his best effort. People like him. People vote for him. He stays. But now he can get ready for the tour and his millions of screaming fans.

So, the bottom 3? I had no problem with Lakisha, but seeing Blake there was a shock. Honestly, based on Tuesday alone I can see how he got there, but did you see the look of relief on Simon's face when Ryan sent him to safety? Simon saw the $$$ back in his pocket, that's for sure! I'm not sure any of the others will end up being as marketable and profitable as Blake in the short term.

Questions, question, and more questions. Of course I have some.

1. Why do we need to hear what people in Hollywood think? I have a sneaking suspicion they have less to do with the voting than pre-teens in the midwest. Just a hunch.

2. When will Blake bring back the "it" and the "yo?" If he wants to go the distance we need a little more edge from Mr. Lewis. Granted, country week may not be the ideal venue, but it's been a bit since we've seen vintage Blake, vintage sweaters notwithstanding.

3. How long is next week's show going to be? Holy crap! That's a lot of star power on one night. Just promise me that we don't have to listen to Hugh Grant sing!

4. Couldn't we just read the website to find out what the idols are listening to? More fluff and filler in my opinion.

5. Who are the music legends pairing up next week on Idol Gives Back? My money's on Gwen Stefani and Akon.

6. When did Ryan become so Dick Clarkish? Nothing against Mr. Clark and his decades of experience and success, but didn't Ed McMahon have his chance at hosting a talent show?

7. How did I miss the chance to comment on Randy's "accomplished producer" comment to Phil? I'm losing my touch!

Anyway, I have no idea what the theme is next week so all I can get geared up for is the Idol Gives Back Etravagataculopalooza. Block out plenty of time next week, America. You're gonna need it!

Sanjaya is going home

Nice kid, but right person to go home. I bet it's been really tough for him.

I found Martina McBride's song to be very inspirational for us. Thank you!

I'm tired and not feeling particularly witty or remembering much about the show. OH! Except that I am SO SICK AND TIRED of hearing what people on Hollywood Boulevard have to say! Guess what? I don't CARE what people on Hollywood Boulevard have to say. I'd rather have a half hour results show! Grrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Ryan. I like Ryan. Always have. But he is seeming dorkier and dorkier ALL the time. I don't know what's happened to him. He's turning into dweeby uptight dorky TV show host guy. What happened to cool Ryan? Bring back the inside out T-shirts and scruffy looks. Throw out the skinny ties. Whaaaaa, where's the old Ryan?!

So, anyway, Blake does NOT deserve to be ranked lower than Phil. No way. No how. Phil is annoying the bejeebers out of me. I've had enough. He's a mugger. Blech.

I find myself totally digging Blake and really liking Jordin and Melinda. Believe it or not, I'm liking Chris more and more. Lakisha just seems so put out to be there. And Phil? Well, do I really need to go there again?

Top 7 Minus 1 - Martina McBride Performs (and Fergie)!

They're dragging this out for an hour!? Again!?

They certainly spend enough time on Simon's apology. Sheesh.

The group hoedown is alright.

Fergie kicks butt and takes names.

Is anyone else ready to gag at the 'Sponge Bob No Pants' commercial?

The contestant Ford commercial was pretty good, especially in contrast to Sponge Bob.

The AI Gives Back entertainment lineup sounds pretty awesome.

Elimination: starting with Sanjaya on one side and Phil on the other makes it vague to start, but when Jordin joins Phil, it becomes much clearer. Chris joins the high end; Lakisha and Blake join Sanjaya. Then they tell poor Belinda she's safe and make her pick between the groups. She declines, staging a non-violent sit-down protest of civil disobedience (Yay, Ghandi!), and is told to join the clear winners in Jordin's group. Randy is as surprised as I am that Blake is in the bottom 3. I'm a bit surprised that Lakisha is there, but apparently I really missed a crucial performance. Naturally, I'm glad to see Sanjaya there, but I have to wonder if the Dark Force will prevail once again and result in Lakisha's dismissal. I really can't see Blake going down just yet.

The whole Shrek 3 thing was little more than a blatant commercial. Ryan, the AI talk show host, with guests plugging their next film.

Martina McBride performs wonderfully, singing, 'Sing It Anyway', which is a poignantly apt song for an elimination show.

Blake is safe, not surprisingly. Will Sanjaya finally meet his end? YES!!!!! The audience is clearly pleased. Lakisha has one more chance to change her approach, barring a massive screw-up on someone else's part.

He has fun with his final performance: 'Let's Give Them Something To Talk About' - other than hair!...LOL!

See ya next week!

...John

60 minutes I can't get back

Being busy and entertaining family this week I haven't had much time to get to posting here, but I did have a few thoughts on last night's elimination. J Lo's performance was great, and she seems like such a nice mentor to have on the show. Yeah, Haley's gone. Phil's bottom 2 and is days are numbered. Sanjaya still gets too much individual attention. Blah, blah, blah. So, here are some questions left unanswered.

1. Why did we need another 60-minute show full of filler? What was on the other networks last night? I feel like the old lady in the Wendy's commercial: Where's the beef?

2. Was the sound editor off on the Ford commercial? It seemed like a number of the contestants were out of sync with the sound track.

3. Did Akon really jump to number one on the Billboard charts after his first appearance with Gwen Stefani? I think he really benefited from that appearance a couple of weeks ago.

4. Did Fox really only give $5 million to Idol Gives Back? They'll make that back in the first commercial break!

5. Is anyone else tired of seeing Simon squirm when things get sentimental? At some point he's going to go Grinch and his heart is going to explode out of his chest as he sobs uncontrollably.

6. Why didn't Tony Bennett open the right door?

7. Where's the love for Randy? J Lo said she give critique like Paula, and she gave some credit to Simon, but she didn't even look at Randy. And after he gave her the "I know someone famous" shoutout!

Alright, enough for me. Country next week. We should have a grumpy Simon, sub par performances, and one or two standouts. I'm guessing Martina McBride should be a good mentor for the idols, so bring on the twang!

Top 8 Minus 1 - JLo Performs!

They're squeezing an hour out of this!? JLo better perform twice!

The group sing was enjoyable. It's interesting how they seem to have paired people by their relative status - Sanjaya with Haley, most noticeably.

When they interviewed the little girl about who she liked, it seemed clear that Sanjaya has a similar appeal to young kids as Michael Jackson had. He does have that 'young at heart', playful vibe. The kid was quick to say she didn't like Blake or Jordin. Interesting.

Simon took the ribbing well about his man-breasts, as drawn by one of the schoolgirls in Africa.

Tony Bennett's fake audition was pretty funny, especially the 'other door' ending...LOL!

Blake keeps a crib sheet on his wrist...LOL! I probably would, too.

Phil's in the bottom 3. No real surprise. Sanjaya gets played - up & down. I'm betting he's safe. Haley's in the boot'em 3, as well. Yay! Chris and Sanjaya get played. I'm betting Chris is going down. Yep. But I'll bet he's not in the bottom 2.

Ellen Degeneres did a bit today about how Howard Stern and a certain website are encouraging people to vote for Sanjaya - as the worst contestant. She stole my joke and noted that we'd already tried voting for the worst, and look what's happened, and urged people to vote for the best. She really meant it. She loves American Idol, and, according to a poll of her viewers, on her website, Melinda is still winning by a landslide.

Chris is safe, as I thought.

Sanjaya wants JLo....ewwww!

JLo sings! Yes! Talk about goose bumps! It's easy to feel her even without understanding the words. She is awesome. I don't know if you've ever gotten to watch her act, but she's a joy to watch in the cinema, as well. It doesn't surprise me that she's in the 'Paula school of criticism', and I love her for saying so (not that we don't need our Simon).

Haley goes bye-bye. She sings us off with good spirits. I wish her well.

See you next week!

...John

Check Those Lyrics

They are always ominous! I can name at least 3 people that deserved to go home more than Gina based on last night's performances, and probably 3 or 4 that deserved it based on the body of their work. It's sad that Gina is leaving ahead of the likes of Haley, Phil, and Chuckles. One thing that may have hurt her a bit (but not nearly enough to get the boot this week) is her edge seemed to come and go. Chris Daughtry always rocked. It didn't matter what the genre was, or what song he chose. He brought it in his own style, even if it was too strong at times. Gina seemed to morph a bit depending on the style. But even then, what is up America?!

I have (as always) some questions still unanswered after tonight's show.

1. How can I get Michael Buble as a last minute fill-in at my next function? Even with a cold (?) he was fantastic. That's how you sing the classics! His next album should be great.

2. Was anyone really fooled by all that not this three, not yet, bit to which we were subjected by Ryan and his team of intern staff writers. And while we're there . . .

3. I know a lot of A.I. is life, unscripted, but has the writing gotten worse this year? It's tough to keep "fooling" us with all the "we'll find out . . . after the break" crap, but it's gotten a bit more corny for my liking.

4. Why hasn't Microsoft stepped up for American Idol Gives Back? I bet they could spare a bit of change for a worthy cause like this. Maybe that cool Mac guy that gives it to the stuffy PC dude on those commercials will do it.

5. I'd like Exxon Mobil to give back some of the money it stole from me at the pump last week. Any chance of that happening?

6. Was Simon not surprised at all about the bottom 2? Not even a little? C'mon. Gina in the bottom 2. He's just lying now.

Sanjaya's head right now? Give him props for coming out each time and giving it his all, but at some point doesn't the fact that you are outclassed in the talent department get to you at all?

8. Is it me, or are the signs in the crowd even duller this year?

OK, enough questioning. I've only got 2 weeks to come up with something really great for the songwriting contest. Now the season has meaning for me!

Gina's Going Home

Well, that just SUCKS. I like Gina. I've liked her more and more every week. And at least THREE people deserve, based on this week's performances (and the season for that matter), to go home before Gina. I'm disappointed. I've enjoyed watching her and wouldn't mind seeing her perform more. I certainly prefer seeing her to Phil, Haley, and, dare I mention him at all? No, you know who I mean. Not his fault, but just the same. We all full well know he doesn't deserve top 6 status. I'm sickened. But I'm honestly more shocked that Phil and Haley beat Gina more than he-who-should-not-be-named, because HWSNBN is at least some, albeit odd, phenomenon, whereas Gina leaving is just WRONG. She's a rocker girl with class. She did great tonight on a VERY tough song to sing while crying!!

As for the other stuff, well, HURRAH! MICHAEL BUBLE!! Poor Tony Bennet--that really stinks. I'm so glad, though, that they got MICHAEL BUBLE!! I think he had a cold and he looks more grown up and woohoo, has an album coming out. We love Michael Buble!

Oh, and did Gina throw her pickle on the ground?

And could someone please tell Haley that mini-skirts are so 90s?

Top 9 Minus 1 - Tony Bennett Gets The Flu - Michael Buble Performs In His Stead!

...a 1974 4-door Stead sedan.

Ba dump...bump


Let's just see what happens to Phil baby...

Jordin, Kisha and Melinda - all safe - no surprise.

Sanjaya, Chris, and Blake are in the middle - no surprise except for Sanjaya, and we know what that's all about. This may be how Bush managed to get elected.

Leaving Phil, Haley and Gina. Phil is safe, and Gina goes. Others besides Simon like her legs. But it's just a matter of time before Haley follows, methinks.

And so it goes...

John

Chris Sligh is going home

Well, that was fun! Gwen Stefani is a breath of fresh air. It's nice to have some hip, contemporary stuff on AI. It's about time, too.

Chris Sligh. No big surprise. I thought it would be Haley, but he'd be my next guess anyway.

My favorite part of the evening is when he hugged Phil and said -- in the middle of his song -- "You owe me 50 bucks!" ROTFL!

Curly's gone. But please, no Shemp!

Sligh's gone. No shocker there. He'd lost his edge or mojo or something since we've been seeing him weekly. He seemed like the kind of guy who's hiding a lot of insecurity behind a facade of self-depricating humor. That stuff is great when you're Tommy Boy, but not as an Idol. I had higher hopes for him, and apparently much of America did as well. I am slightly surprised that Haley's got one more week in her, but then again, Sanjaya's far from the last position so anything goes!

So I have only a handful of unanswered questions:

1. Did Akon say anything besides, "C'mon y'all. Like this!" That big necklace was distracting, too. It reminded me of Flavor Flav's clock.

2. Why, Ryan? Why? Did you need to wear the hair?

3. Why do the producers and writers of A.I. feel the need to give extra air time to those clearly out of their league? Think Sanjaya and Kevin "Chicken Little" Covais.

4. Is it just me, or did Lakisha seem a bit overconfident tonight?

5. Did Paula and Gwen Stefani shop at the same place for the show tonight?

6. Do people really spend $10 to enter those contests 10 times? And do they ever get the wrong answer?

I'm excited for Tony Bennett week. He's 80 years old and still putting out relevant material. Any doubters should see the work he did on his Duets album. He sings with the Dixie Chicks, Bono, Michael Buble, James Taylor, Tim McGraw, k.d. lang, Elvis Costello, and a bunch of other great artists. Even if the contestants are limited to the 20 or so songs on the album, it should be a great night.

Top 10 Minus 1 - Gwen Stefani Performs!

Here we go...!

Ryan's Sanjaya hair is a trip! Sanjaya took it with good humor.

Phil and Haley hit rock bottom. Chris or Gina will join them. I'm thinking Sligh.

Gwen gives the best celebrity performance of the season (admittedly not too hard to do, but really, very good).

Sligh slides down to the bottom. Phil is safe, again. I don't know who it will be...

It's Sligh (and the family moaned).

I think this will still give him a leg up if he chooses to continue singing, and I hope he does.

Phil owes him $50 - apparently Chris bet on his own demise with accuracy.

See you next week!...

...John

Stephanie's Going Home

So, looking back over my list of best to worst, my second-from-the bottom got the boot. She didn't do well yesterday, but she deserved to be on the tour, vocally anyway. Her personality just wasn't that warm. And those with personality are really Blake and Jordin. Gina's okay, too. Sligh's getting old for me for him. Anyway, I digress.

So, Herman sounded better than Diana Ross. What a shocker. And Lulu? Wow, she sings that song differently than she did in the 60s. I love that song. I miss the old style. If she was going to make it contemporary, she could've let Blake beatbox it. (Blake has single-handedly introduced ALL of America to that term, by the way). Anyway, she sounded better than Diana Ross, too. And she's so cute!

Two things that bugged me about tonight. No, three.

1. Phil's camera mugging and constant cheering. He doesn't know when to stop.

2. Ryan's repeatedly erroneous statement, "You are not in the bottom 3 tonight." Liar! Clearly, he lied to someone. (For those who are mathematically challenged, there are 11 contestants and he only said who the bottom 2 were, so when he said, 'You are not in the bottom 3 tonight" to the other 9 people, he was lying to somebody).

3. Product Placement and Plugs. Hey look, everyone! There's a top 12 again! Brad Garrett has joined us! Isn't that clever? You see, what's happened? Tivo has happened. So, advertisers started sweating the fact that most of America happily fast forwards commercials (except my mom who has seriously said to me, "Those are the best part!" Sorry, Mom, I know that was years ago, but you DID say it), thus totally ignoring the fruits of their money and efforts.

So, what do they do? They put big, giant coke cups on the judges' table. And big red swirls on the floor and walls. They have little Ford vehicles drive right across the TV screen! And they put Brad Garrett in the top 10. It's such an imposition really. I mean, it's being THROWN at us. Even if we choose to not fast forward commercials, at least we can get up, walk out, grab a snack or use the bathroom (but, ewww, so not at the same time), walk back in, and not miss a second of our favorite shows while totally ignoring the commercials (except for my mom who will be sitting there watching every one of them).

But now we see it all while we watch our favorite shows. And I don't like it. It's like an invasion of privacy. Sort of. It's a violation anyway. And it bugs me. Grrrrr.

So, more Haley and more Sanjaya. And they're on the tour instead of Brandon and Stephanie. Harumph.

All in all, not super surprising just the same. Oh! But Chris R. being bottom two--yeah, that WAS surprising really. And interesting.

What I *am* beginning to see is the possibility of a finale between Melinda and Jordin or one of them and Blake . . .

Goodbyes, Farewells, and a Sayonara

I guess my wish was for Phil to go. Will someone please make him stop screaming?! I was fine with his excitement, but I got tired of the yelling and continued celebration during the "recap" portion of the show. He'll be a fun one on tour! Stephanie Edwards, the pain is over. If you look back at last night's show, Stephanie's performance was exit worthy, but she has the talent to have competed for much longer. Her problem is that she never really showed a part of her personality that made me care. She had no safety net. Melinda Doolittle can come out next week, forget her lyrics, fall down, pass out, wake up during Wednesday's show and still not be voted out because we've established that she's likeable for things other than her singing ability. It's like the Get Out of Jail Free card in Monopoly. Stephanie just never had it.

After tonight, as always, I have unanswered questions. Here they are in no particular order:

1. Wasn't it so cool how the producers listened to me (and half of the American Idol Blogdom out there) and edited in that little crying girl using grainy, black-and-white film footage? OK, that one was more of a statement framed as a question rather than a true question.

2. Where were the Hermits? Hiding out I suppose.

3. Can you fit Lulu into your purse on the airplane?

4. Why aren't they playing up how many people voted this week? Oooh! I know! I know! The stats are flat.

5. Where were the judges tonight? I feel like I hardly saw them.

6. I've asked this before, but if Ryan can rush through the elimination thing, why haven't we done this in past seasons? They could do it like the Powerball on Saturday night. Interrupt the news for a few minutes, watch the ping pong balls, show a little video montage, bada bing, bada boom! Presto! Now back to Chip with Sports.

I was fairly bored tonight, so there weren't many questions floating through my head. I wonder what next week will bring.

Brandon's Going Home

Well, bleh, bleh. Dare I admit that, huge fan that I am of this show, I'm not feeling very attached or passionate about anyone? It reminds me of Fantasia's season--you know, you're sort of mildly entertained for 12 weeks and then they crown her winner.

So, score one for Boquinha's predictions. Brandon's going home. I don't think his heart was in it.

But hey, don't lose heart! Poof your hair, wear a big red feathered boa, throw your arms in the air, have smoke and fireworks announce your entrance on stage, sing like crap, and YOU, TOO can be a diva!

That bottom 3 wasn't super shocking either. Biggest shocker of the night was Simon's collared shirt.

Yawn.

So, if you're bored, I highly recommend you read Magistra's post from yesterday. Far more entertaining than tonight's show.