The girls pick songs as well as David Hernandez . . .

. . . Picks his nose, and listening to his embarassing moment the other night you know how well that is. Honestly, how can one group of people pick so many bad songs. I feel like I've heard the phrase "song choice" way too many times. And everyone seems to have some very personal or touching reason for picking the songs. Great reasoning for a video tribute. Poor reasoning for a singing competition. I sing the typical Daddy repertoire pretty well (ABCs, Rubber Duckie, etc.). I could not sing anything by The Dave Matthews Band even though I like it.

Again, people wasted the 1980s. This was a decade with a lot of great music across a lot of genres. With a few exceptions I felt like I was listening to a who's who of American musical crap. There I go again. Song choice. Rant off.

Randy gave more love to the Other Dawg Pound this week than he's given to his usual Dawg Pound, and even Paula's talking like Randy. If I were the AI doctor I'd do an overhaul on Paula's medications. And check the Coke cup. What was with the judges this week? They messed around so much that they didn't say anything to Syesha, who deserved more of an assault than she got. Whitney? Are you kidding me? Why the woolly scarves and short sleeves on the guys. I don't know if I can get on board with that style. Danny Noriega looked like someone's Abuela with those glasses on. Can I boot 3 girls and keep an extra guy this week? (Sorry Luke, you're gone either way.)

OK, rant on again. Why do people insist on picking songs (and not even the best ones) by such artists as Whitney Houston? Don't they know that only one of two things is likely to happen. Number 1, it is an adequate replica of the original, which means nothing. Number 2, there is no way to even come close to the original (this is more common, by the way) and thus it is a catastrophic failure and waste of a minute and a half. Sure, other things can happen: they can do an original arrangement, which ends up falling into category 2 more often than not. They can actually "slay" the song, but I've seen that maybe one time in 7 seasons. It just doesn't happen. That's why those divas have a lot of hits and millions of dollars and why these contestants had to go through the cattle call auditions and subject themselves to public scrutiny and ridicule. Phew! Rant off, I think.

We'll have another matching test for the girls this week. There will be two versions so stay sharp!

1. Asia'h Epperson
2. Kady Malloy
3. Amanda Overmyer
4. Carly Smithson
5. Kristy Lee Cook
6. Ramiele Malubay
7. Brooke White
8. Syesha Mercado

a. Missed the memo on singing anything Scott Savol did, among many, many, many other idols.
b. Did her best with it, but just doesn't have "it."
c. Along with David Cook, performed the most original arrangement this week, and was (shockingly) one of the most entertaining.
d. Missed the memo on singing anything done by anyone who can be identified by one name only.
e. Missed the memo on singing anything done by anyone who can be identified by one name only.
f. Gave her best performance so far, but is so uninteresting I don't know if I can stand it any longer (it doesn't appear that she can either).
g. Picked a very strange song to "countrify," but was obviously looking for a few dawg treats.
h. Still proves she is the one to beat, even if she hasn't found "her song."

Key: 1-d or 1-e, 2-b, 3-f, 4-h, 5-g, 6-a, 7-c, 8-e or 8-d


Top 8 Girls for Dummies

1. Asia'h Epperson
2. Kady Malloy
3. Amanda Overmyer
4. Carly Smithson
5. Kristy Lee Cook
6. Ramiele Malubay
7. Brooke White
8. Syesha Mercado

a. Tops for the night with an original performance.
b. Actually could give the guys a real contest.
c. Blah, blah, blah. Ordinary. Adequate. Poor song choice. Blah. Blah. Blah.

Key: 1-c, 2-c, 3-c, 4-b, 5-c, 6-c, 7-a, 8-c

MY TOP THREE: Brooke White, Carly Smithson, ???
GOING WHERE SONG CHOICE DOESN'T MATTER: Kady Malloy, Syesha Mercado
EARLY EXIT ALERT: Amanda Overmyer

* * * * * * * * * *

EARLY PREDICTIONS UPDATE

Here's another look at my early Top 12 picks based on basically nothing. People already gone in bold. Predicted to go are underlined. No italics yet.

David Archuleta
David Cook
Michael Johns
Robbie Carrico
Chikezie
Danny Norriega

Asia'h Epperson
Brooke White
Carly Smithson
Kristy Lee Cook
Ramiele Malubay
Joanne Borgella

* * * * * * * * * *

I'm on pins and needles here! I wonder what the group will sing tonight, and whether or not Amanda will look like she just had a root canal.

Top 8 Girls! - 80s Theme

Asia'h Epperson - Big song, but she handles it well. The judges agree but Simon is obligated to bring everyone down to earth. Again.

Kady Malloy - The song is unfamiliar to me, so I have no point of reference. She sings it pretty straightforwardly, and seems to do a fair job, though still weak in the softer notes. Randy agrees, Paula likes the softer spots. Simon calls her straightforward delivery "Stepford wifish and unemotional."

Amanda Overmyer - Another unfamiliar song in the rock genre - good for her vocal style, but confirming her narrow range of skill, for me, though she does it very well. Randy and Paula like it. Simon loves it. Apparently I'm of the belief that an American Idol should have a broader skillset. I'll try to let that go.

Carly Smithson - Another unfamiliar song. I'm very impressed with how professional her stage skills are, not to mention the power of her voice in every place she puts it. Brilliant! Randy calls it "picking off targets." Simon points out that it wasn't "the" song for her, and I agree, but it was very well done.

Kristy Lee Cook - Great song choice. It feels good right from the start. Not perfect, but well done. Both Randy and Paula (when Simon lets her surface from a strange hug) agree that it could be a country hit. Simon is less optimistic, but didn't not like it.

Ramiele Malubay - Huge song, but worth the risk. She's a bit too loose with the phrasing through the first half, but she brings it to a great climax and close. Randy chalks it up to lack of confidence and overthinking it. Paula eventually gets around to swishing her into the top 12. Simon is not impressed. Danny is wearing her glasses? She's in L O O O O V E! Perhaps that's the "stuff" she was thinking about during the song that's TMTH. They would make a too cute couple!

Brooke White - A sitting start for this big song. Will it be a moment? The beginning is skillful enough, but she never stands up and never changes gears, and was a little pitchy toward the end. The judges like it all for different reasons. I think adding the band later to build it up, per Paula, would have made it better, but Simon liked it mainly because she stuck with only the acoustic guitar. Due to my crush on her, I'm inclined to overlook the pitchiness.

---

I thought the girls would bring it tonight and offer some real competition to the boys last night, but it hasn't quite happened.

---

Syesha Mercado - Her voice is way off tonight, at least in the softer opening. She handles the louder parts okay, but this was not at all her night for me. Judges are mysteriously brief, perhaps due to time constraints, but they all give her top 12.


Tops and Props: Carly, Brooke, Ramiele, Kristy, Asia'h, and, okay, Amanda, roughly in order.

Bottoms: Well, that only leaves Kady and Syesha (and Amanda. Ha!)

Top 8 Girls

Well, the top 6 are pretty clear in my opinion. Yet we'll see if Salmonella gets an undeserved spot while another languishes in obscurity. Ever since they've switched from Top 10 to Top 12, there have been 2 obvious out-of-their-leaguers. Sigh. And Ryan? Ditch the turtleneck.

Jordin Sparks - Is she running out of breath again? She's not quite hitting all the notes, but overall it's very good and I really like her. She looks beautiful. What exactly was she drawing on her chest during the numbers?

Sabrina Sloan - These songs are flying by! I'm excited for 3-minute songs! Very solid performance.

Salmonella - Well, she can play violin! Yikes, it's off, she's too timid, and then she shouts so loudly there's mic feedback. Not good (though that's not surprising). The song is more her style though. I'll give her that. One of her better weeks, but it's still not great and it's frankly not good enough. She has such little belief in herself and it's so apparent. It was classy of Simon to mention the media and how she's handled it. I feel such conflicting things about Antonella all at the same time. On the one hand, urgh, she's not very good! But hey, THEY put her there against all those powerhouses. Remember Marisa? The one who didn't get the spot that Antonella did. Boy, I bet she's pissed.

Anyway, Antonella's there, so what's she going to do, step down? She keeps getting voted through so what's she going to do, not sing (I know that's debatable, but let's focus)? So, the media thing--another URGH. She's the one who TOOK the pictures. But yeah, it's pretty cheap that someone sold them to the media (but DUH on her part for taking them and having them at large like that). I was glad that Paula got the focus back to "a warm place" because they'd grilled her enough and heck, I, was getting uncomfortable.

But what BUGS me is Salmonella's defensiveness (though, again, gotta feel for her and the immense psychological pressure she must be under to A. have her breasts and butt all over the internet and TV (though again she DID take the pictures and I bet she at least gets a modeling or advertising gig from the frenzy) and B. sing in a competition against the likes of Doolittle and LaKisha). She keeps talking nonsense! Last week she said, "Hey, they were wrong about Jennifer Hudson" and this week she's saying stupid things like, "I wish the judges would stop comparing me against the others and just base it on me." Uh, number one, basing it on you alone reveals the same outcome (you're not that good a singer). And number two, it's a *%&%# competition! What the heck do you think you signed up for?? Gibberish. Take Simon's nice comment, let America vote, and stop talking. You're coming across as whiny.

If America has any sense they'll put her (and all of America) out of her misery and not vote her through.

Haley Scarnato - She's a Disney/Broadway/showgirl kind of singer. Not for this. Poor Haley. And stupid Simon. It's HIS fault he doesn't know her name, not hers. Idiot.

Stephanie Edwards - We already have a Fantasia and if you recall, she raced past the impeccable but presumptuous LaToya so Steph better watch her step. She's coming across as arrogant and that's just not endearing to America. She couldn't have told us something else about herself? I can let Mark comment on this since he's all fired up about it. Stephanie is LaToya-like cocky. Do I need to give my speech on the difference between confident and cocky? Okay. Confident is knowing you're good. Cocky is thinking you're better than everyone else and thinking of others as "less than." Confident is good. Cocky is not. She's got mad talent, but the higher-than-others sense of self may hurt her.

***You can gauge the likability of the contestants by how warm/close Ryan is with them. There's distance whenever he's with Stephanie. Reminds me of someone . . . who is it . . . oh yeah! LaToya.

LaKisha - That girl has Whitney chutzpah! At this point, anyone who sings Whitney is either crazy, deranged, or incredibly good. We all know what LaKisha is. Nice hair! She looks gorgeous! Wow, she gives me chills! She has "Yo." That was another class act moment for Simon to compliment the way she looked. Every once in a while, there's a glimmer of humanity in him.

***PET PEEVE. If it's a family show, why do they have inappropriate commercials during the family show? 24?? Are you kidding me?!***

Gina Glocksen - I love it, to be honest. I like her. And woohoo, Simon likes her, too.

Melinda Doolittle - I love that she's OCD!! Her range is fabulous! Her low notes are spot on and her high notes are powerfully on, too! No one else can boast that. She is far and away better than all the rest. This reminds me of season 3. It was sort of a weird season - you simply watch every other contestant get voted off waiting for Fantasia to be officially crowned victor. This season's AI is the same. I think she's got it in the bag. It'll be an all-girl finale. Her and somebody (probably LaKisha) and then she'll win. I love how she worked the stage, sang TO the back up singers, and threw down the idol gauntlet. Even with an in-your-face song like W-O-M-A-N, she brought tears to my eyes. Seriously. I love her. She's so genuine. She'd be a fun friend. I love her! Phenomenal!

Bottom 2: Salmonella and Haley
Tops: Melinda and LaKisha

No question.

So who's the odd one out?

You know it will happen. Ever since they've had this Top 12, even guys and girls format one undeserving guy and one undeserving girl get in. Who will it be this year? And who will be the one left out (besides the other one, who actually should be left out).

RANDOM THOUGHTS: Ryan looks like that guy Dieter from the old SNL "Sprockets" sketch. "And now comes the part where we dance!" Kinda creepy. Well, we only found a little yo, but there were wow, whatzit, and whatchamacalit sightings tonight. Two minutes. That's how long we had to wait for Randy to tell us the guys were awful and the girls are great. Maybe that's why I'm having a tough time getting into this season. Simon with the open collar--interesting, and a bit weird. So Stephanie's been singing since she was 3, and she was shy but now she's really confident on stage. How interesting. And self-aggrandizing. C'mon. Give us something more surprising than fodder for a worst auditions show. So Simon is a bit perturbed by Jennifer Hudson's comments? Would it hurt Simon at all to learn a few of the contestants' names. First? Surname? We're not picky.

I've lost interest in even trying to properly title the songs, but here are my thoughts anyway.

JORDIN SPARKS ("Heartbreaker"): Pat Benetar had her moments, and she even deserves to be remembered from time to time, but far too few idols have had good experiences with her songs. Jordin did well and showed that she belongs in the Top 12, but I didn't feel like it was much more than solid tonight. 3/5 yo's.

SABRINA SLOAN (Some song for a big voice): Sabrina was less screechy tonight, but I was underwhelmed. Again, still someone who deserves to be in the Top 12. Part of me wonders if she'll be the deserving one that is left out. Her personality is so vanilla for me. 3.5/5 yo's.

ANTONELLA BARBA ("Let Your Hair Down"): First of all, big props to Simon for mentioning the bunk press Antonella's been getting. For as much as I feel she doesn't deserve to be in the competition at this point, she's getting the raw deal over those pictures. They were in poor taste, but get over it already! With that said, she gave it her all tonight, and it was her best performance to date, but it just wasn't good enough. 2/5 yo's.

HALEY SCARNATO (Another huh song): She seemed more herself, but she is the Sisyphus of this competition. She can keep pushing, but Simon's made up his mind. Honestly, she would be better served as a sort of niche performer at a theme park or hotel lobby. She'd do well, and people would be glad they saw her. 2.5/5 yo's.

STEPHANIE EDWARDS (Some Chaka joint): This girl can sing, but Simon is right: no originality. I listen each week with an open mind, but come away feeling like I've been let down. Stephanie has talent, but the charismer is lacking for me. 3.5/5 yo's, and I'll throw in 1 whatzit for kicks.

LAKISHA JONES ("I Have Nothing"): Another overdone song on A.I. At least Lakisha did it. And what a job it was! She did great. She has set herself apart as one of the ones to beat. She's got the posse with personality. I wonder if she'll make the Top 12. 4.5/5 yo's, and one wow and an it, too.

GINA GLOCKSON (Scream, yeah, what was that?): So, I guess this is her, huh. To be honest, before she performed I thought the whole "edgy" thing was a label she got because of the pink hair, and that she really didn't have an edgy side, but it seems I was wrong. I really didn't like her performance at all tonight. I think she has more talent than she showed, and she needs to rein it in a little. She should make it to the Top 12, but it will be interesting to see how far she can go. 3.5/5 yo's.

MELINDA DOOLITTLE ("I Am a Woman"): If she keeps singing like that she can be whatever she wants. At this point she is far and away the best singer in the competition. Her stage presence is amazing. Her vocal range is astounding. Her attitude is phenomenal. 5/5 yo's, and whatever else she wants!

MY QUICK HITS
JORDIN: Seventeen? Are you sure?
SABRINA: I'm bored with you now
ANTONELLA: Next time just say, "if America wants me."
HALEY: Aren't you tired of punching the clock?
STEPHANIE: Don't you do animal sounds or something else interesting?
LAKISHA: So your father must be the sedated one of the bunch?
GINA: As long as you don't wear your bathrobe next week . . .
MELINDA: Wanna skip this show and cut the record now?

MY TOP 3: Melinda, Lakisha, someone else
MY BOTTOM 3: Antonella, Haley, Stephanie(?)
WISHING IT WAS 4 GUYS AND 8 GIRLS: Haley and Sabrina

It should be Antonella, but she's getting a spot. Sabrina hasn't shown enough personality outside of her singing, and despite the judges' insistence that this is a singing competition, we all know it's more of a high school popularity contest, and a little singing, too. I hope I'm wrong.

Top 16! - 8 Girls

Jordin Sparks - Heartbreaker - challenging song, but she seems up to it! Great energy, and the judges liked it, though Simon plays the reserved professional...or reserved Brit.

Sabrina Sloan - Better tonight at not pushing the song, but doesn't quite get a grip on the song. I think she lost synch with the band at one point, which the judges seem not to have noticed. I agree with Randy that I'd like to hear a more melodious song by which to gauge her abilities.

Antonella Barba - Pitchy in spots, and uninspiring. It seems she saved it all for the last note, and even that wasn't held long enough. Simon is straightforward, but I agree that she seems played out, and unlikely to rise to, or in, the competition.

Haley Scarnato - By far her best performance. This is the first time I've really liked her. It was almost very good, but missed the 'it' factor. Simon is brutally honest, but not really too far off base about her chances.

Stephanie Edwards - Starts very well, but doesn't handle the low register well. The last note was actually on, but the chorus was off on that note. Up there with Jordin tonight, for me. Simon likes her better than Randy and Paula, and so do I, but I think she needs to take it up a notch.

Lakisha Jones - Starts with a hug from Ryan...awww. Big song with a great arrangement, and she fills it completely. Best tonight, by far, so far, and a brilliant soft ending instead of a scream. And her hair looks gorgeous! A big improvement over last week, and a definite top 12.

Gina Glockson - Not my style, and some oversinging, but energetic and connected with the edgy genre. Not the best, but will make it to the top 12.

Melinda Doolittle - Okay, so my budding star is a little OCD. Man does she sizzle! I love this gal! Yes, she is a W-O-M-A-N!!! They were wise to close with her. She'll definitely bring us back again for more.

Tops: Melinda and Lakisha are in a class by themselves...Jordin and Gina and the rest come next.

Bottoms: Antonella, and someone I haven't already named. For me, the runners-up for worst were all about equal tonight.

See you at the Colosseum!

...John