One Down . . .

So class, the word for tonight is "underwhelmed." I'll admit that I was a bit disappointed in the quality of performances tonight, but I can also understand how nervous these guys must have been. It must be tough to be the first ones to perform on Little Big Stage. But I was looking for something more interesting than the pathetic homophobic banter between Ryan and Simon.

RANDOM THOUGHTS: They could have done this in an hour thirty, tops. That would have moved up the first "pitchy" comment by at least a minute fifteen or so. "Sing well." Thank you Simon for your sage advice. There was a lot of "numbering for dummies" tonight. Everyone gave the requisite fingering for their individual phone numbers, although no one was as "creative" as Corey Clark was in Season 2. Remember his math lessons--we learned that 2+2, 1+3, and 3+1 all equal 4. Jared, being number 10, deftly realized that the only humanly possible way to show 10 fingers at once with two hands is to drop the microphone (or place it somewhere, ahem, inappropriate a la Kellie Pickler last year) so he made sure to sing a numerically oriented song and get his fingering out of the way early. The Randy Formula is still the same--say the contestant's name + ask a question = poor opinion. Watch and learn! And why didn't Ryan thank Simon at the end, too? Oh, he was being funny! OK, I missed that the first time through.

Now, on to the performances. As always, since I don't feel like looking things up, I will title the songs in a way that makes sense to me (I get them right sometimes). And to avoid needless repetition, all contestants are assumed to have been "pitchy" tonight unless otherwise noted.

RUDY CARDENAS ("Free Ride"): Upbeat, yes. High energy, yes. Memorable, no. I thought it was a fair performance, but like Simon said, we've seen it all before.

BRANDON ROGERS ("Rock With You"): His performance was totally safe. He seemed a bit uncomfortable as the front man, as well. He can sing, and I know we'll see a lot better things from him in weeks to come. His actual vocals were pretty good, though. I thought he was one of the better ones as far as pitch went tonight.

SUNDANCE HEAD ("Nights in White Satin"): This is one of those songs I only know because of all of those compilation 8-tracks I saw advertised as a kid (Is that Freedom Rock? Then turn it up man!). Since his audition was the one performance the judges have really liked up until now, wouldn't it stand to reason that Sundance would go back to that style. I guess not, since he didn't. I loved his audition but have not seen a reason to keep him around at this point either.

PAUL KIM ("Careless Whisper"): Mr. Kim has a good voice and he has the potential to do really well, but tonight was just "aight" for me. He looked kind of like he ate one too many bananas and now he really has to go but can't. I liked the syncopated section he did in the middle, but the rest was off. He should make a deal with Simon, though: put on shoes if he wears something other than that old black t-shirt he loves. Like that's ever going to happen.

CHRIS RICHARDSON ("I Don't Wanna Be"): First of all, judges, Elliott did the exact same arrangement last year in the finals and was a lot better. Chris did a good job tonight, thought. I think it's pretty obvious he's trying to continue giving the Justin Timberlake vibe. Take a look at Justin's performance at the Grammys this year and you'll see a similar gray suit, tie, tennis shoes outfit.

NICK PEDRO ("I Will Be Your Man"): I like Nick, but I think he's still shaking off that lyric fiasco two years ago. With a little more confidence we'll see much better things from him. Overall I liked it, though.

BLAKE LEWIS ("Somewhere Only We Know" or "Somewhere something something da da dum"): I think I speak for most of the A.I.-viewing public when I say this performance was the one I really wanted to see tonight. Would he beatbox? Can he sing? Can he keep the mohawk going? Blake's performance was probably my favorite tonight. When he started singing I got flashbacks to Jon Peter Lewis (ooh, I just noticed that!) and I agree that his performance came off as very contemporary. I'm looking forward to seeing what else he can do.

SANJAYA MALAKAR ("Some All-Universe Stevie Song No One Should Ever Sing"): I really like Sanjaya, and I know he'll be around for a while since he is this year's young love. Teenie-boppers and grandmas will keep him around longer than his talent dictates. I think he has potential to legitimately do very well if he can start to stand on his own two feet and do the A.I. thing for himself. Tonight was not a strong performance but we all know he can do better.

CHRIS SLIGH ("Typical" or "Now or Never" or ???): Chris did well, but not as well as I had hoped. He's got a good fan base to keep him running for a while, plus he's pretty funny. Who knew Simon and the Teletubbies had such a tight relationship? I think he was the one with the triangle and purse.

JARED COTTER ("Back At One"): This is one of those performances that didn't go really well, but where you can tell the guy can sing. Give him another week and I think we'll be a bit more impressed. I haven't heard anyone pull off a Bryan McKnight song since Rickey Smith, Season 2, and even he had a rough go at it.

A.J. TABALDO ("All My Love"): OK, this guy is thrilled to be on the A.I. stage. After 5 tries the guy could have come to center stage, kissed the floor, and then cried for a minute and a half and I'd still give him at least one more week. He had the most energy of the night and seemed the most excited of any of the guys to be there. He did well overall and deserves one more week.

PHIL STACEY ("I Could Not Ask For More"): It's sort of weird to think a lot of the same things as the judges, but I thought the same thing. Rough start. Hit the chorus--wow! He brought the feeling. His notes went into tune and stayed there. And he had a strong finish. More useless banter. I love you guys. Blah blah blah. Good start. One of the two best tonight.


MY QUICK HITS

RUDY: Bullseye's a bad idea in an elimination-type show.

BRANDON: When you really realize that you are now the star, we'll be amazed!

SUNDANCE: For you the dance is over. Time to ride into the sunset. (Oh, that was awful!)

PAUL: More fiber and a bit more water.

CHRIS R.: Be yourself, not Justin or Elliott.

NICK: You made it this year. Fuhgettabou last year.

BLAKE: OK, you can sing, too!

SANJAYA: Show us that you're more than this year's "Chicken Little."

CHRIS S.: You can do a bit better. I mean, c'mon, you have a My Space page!

JARED: Polish it up and get original and I think I'll really enjoy your style.

A.J.: We need another good "initialed" contestant in the finals.

PHIL: They told you in your auditions you have a weak start, and you did it again tonight. Fix it!


Based on tonight's performances . . .

MY TOP 3: Blake, Phil, Chris S?
MY BOTTOM 3: Sundance, Rudy, Sanjaya
GOING HOME FOR A SHAVE AND A HAIRCUT: Sundance, Rudy

It's way too early to write off the guys, nerves and all, but I have high hopes for the girls tomorrow. I'm actually looking forward to hearing some of these people we know next to nothing about. Five hours a week for a while. It's on!