Can We Keep 8 or 9? Please?

So, how many of us are surprised that the girls seemed so much better than the boys? If you raised your hand, I have serious doubts about your taste in music. The boys seemed nervous as a group, and the girls were ready! Unbelievable (well, really good--I'm getting caught up in Ryan's superlatives) show for the first "real" week.

RANDOM THOUGHTS: This was another "an hour thirty" type of show. We started watching at 8:40, and had pretty much caught up by the end. We skipped commercials, but still watched all of the pointless banter and caught up. Can we all say "fluff 'n' stuff?" What was Ryan doing on the stairs in the beginning? "Hey, nice highlights! Nice outfit! Hello there!" It was weird. Randy must have left his Magic 8 Ball at home since he kept rubbing his head for advice. Is this one any good? Ask again later! It took two days and 15 singers before Randy finally stopped neglecting his duties and introduced us to the Dog Pound. C'mon dawg! The guys must realize how poorly they did last night since they gave everyone a standing ovation tonight! How much does Aretha Franklin make in royalties tonight? And Celine Dion for that matter.

OK, here we go, singer by singer. As always, I just make up the titles when I don't know them, and some of them seem really long!

STEPHANIE EDWARDS ("Pick Up the Phone, Dammit!"): The other potential title seemed too long. Wow! She can sing! She had a great performance to start out the night. I was a bit concerned initially because all I could remember from the auditions and such is that she seemed a bit like a Fantasia imitator, but not tonight! Yeah, final 12 material for sure.

AMY KREBS ("I Can't Make You Love Me"): People joke about the A.I. taboo songs, but this is seriously one of them. Only one contestant in my personal viewing history (Constantine Maroulis) has pulled it off completely, and Kim Locke was decent, but not great in Season 2, but that's it. Amy's performance was so-so, we have seen next to nothing besides the enormous white belt she wore over the bright green shirt to receive the news about the Top 24. None of this adds up to much good news.

LESLIE HUNT ("You Make Me Feel," "Natural Woman," etc.): I should really learn the real title since it comes up a bunch during A.I. I didn't feel like this really matched Leslie's personality, but I think she is a fun and interesting contestant worth keeping around a while. Again, not only is this Aretha Franklin, but Kelly Clarkson sang it "out the box" (is this Randy's new thing) in Season 1 and in World Idol. It's tough to duplicate it on this stage.

SABRINA SLOAN ("Never Love a Man The Way I Love You" or some other stereotypical blues title): So, here's another one that can sing. It's always nice to be pleasantly surprised at the unknowns at this point. She had a great performance, full of feeling, and full of urgency. Perfect for week 1.

ANTONELLA BARBA ("I Don't Want To Miss A Thing"): Ouch! She just seemed so scared and unsure as she sang. I never thought she had fantastic talent, regardless of how much airtime she has gotten thus far, and the airtime (and "dirty" pictures) are not going to help poor Antonella. This is another overdone song on A.I., and I don't think anyone's really pulled it off yet. Put it to rest, now! A word of caution: look out for Daddy. He looks like he could be connected, and he wasn't amused by Simon's criticisms! In case you're wondering, Simon wears size 10 shoes, 10 1/2 in cement.

JORDIN SPARKS (The other Tracy Chapman song): At 17 this girl has a lot of potential, and is already showing most of it. It was a really good performance. I was a bit distracted since I felt like I was watching an ASL interpreter perform. Too many hand motions, and then when it "counts," she tucked the mic and showed us 6. She needs to review Corey Clark's instructional video "Finger Numbers and You: A Guide to Toll Free Voting." Next time, just do 2 or 3 fingers on the mic hand. That leaves at least 2 to hold it. You've got plenty of weeks to get it down.

NICOLE TRANQUILLO ("Stay Together"): The very fact that she said "I love that song and knew I really wanted to perform it" confirms what Simon said: it was indulgent. The sad part for me is I've seen next to nothing of this girl so far. No audition footage. Very little Hollywood footage. And I could tell this song was not right for her. It felt awkward all the way through, like she was trying to manufacture a good performance rather than just feel it. You can tell her voice is good, but this song was wrong, wrong, and . . . wrong!

HALEY SCARNATO ("All Coming Back to Me"): I thought she sounded really good for a Disney princess. I don't mean to be rude. That's a compliment. I just didn't like it much. Boring. Unoriginal. Next time remind Simon why he's put you through (hint: show him your back).

MELINDA DOOLITTLE (Something else Aretha): Wow! As I was watching her pre-performance montage, I thought about the power of words. (Yes, I'm getting a bit serious here.) Look at the impact of one compliment from Simon. She transformed in an instant from shy background singer girl to talented solo artist. And she came out tonight like she has had enough of the background. Yet, she gave credit and recognition to everyone performing with her tonight. This is why Simon loves her. She has the humility to show her talent (which is ample) without rubbing it in people's faces. And like Simon said, far too many talent-challenged people seem to flaunt what they do (or don't) have.

ALAINA ALEXANDER ("I'm Special"): I know the title is something about brass tacks or shiny buckles or hard candy or holes in the pocket, but whatever. Ouch and ouch again! Really, it was out of tune most of the way through. Granted, it's rough to follow someone like Melinda (or even Dr.) Doolittle, but it was not good tonight.

GINA GLOCKSEN ("All By Myself"): Pink hair and this song do not go together, and I'm not sure I really liked the fact that she sang it, but she did do a good job. I know what Simon is hearing--she really had to work for that note. It didn't seem effortless so it had the appearance of being off, but she did hit it. Overall it was a Top 6 performance.

LAKISHA JONES ("You're Gonna Love Me"): Did she really give us a choice not to?! I'll choose "love you" over getting poked by one of those death fingers! The really weird thing about Lakisha is that her interviews seem so passionless, like she just woke up from some boring dream, but her singing is anything but emotionless. She is incredible! She must just save it for the performance, like a distance runner saving all the energy for the final sprint. Wow! What a way to end!


MY QUICK HITS

STEPHANIE: Great work. Careful, they just waxed the floors.

AMY: Too little camera time to have a mediocre performance.

LESLIE: You're fun, so you stay.

SABRINA: Alright. You're here. We'll see you for a while.

ANTONELLA: Back to the beach for you, and tell your dad to smile more.

JORDIN: Maybe they'll give you a number less than 5 so you just need one hand next week.

NICOLE: When having a seizure, lie on the ground, and don't put anything in your mouth.

HALEY: Hopefully for one more week you can be part of our world.

MELINDA: So, are you tired of singing backgrounds? Backup singer on A.I.? C'mon!

ALAINA: Be glad there are a few people that could go home.

GINA: Bring us some "pink hair songs" next week.

LAKISHA: Just tell me what to think, 'cause you're "da bomb!"


Based on tonight's performances . . .

MY TOP 3: Melinda, Lakisha, Stephanie
MY BOTTOM 3: Antonella, Amy, Alaina
MAGIC 8 BALL SAYS: Send the whole auto club home (keep Amy if you have to).

I was listening to ESPN radio today, and the host actually spent more time talking about A.I. than sports. Of course, A.I. is infinitely more exciting than any sporting event going on currently (but March Madness is around the corner), so he starts talking about Top 12 guys and girls, and the finals, etc., etc. He said Fox will find a way to take Thursday's show and stretch it out to 5 hours. Sadly, I fear it will feel that way for not only 4 unlucky individuals, but for millions of viewers as well. Oh well, we're all addicted so even 5 hours this week isn't enough.