Whoopie!

Mini-golf podiums (sans tiny pencils), cheesy choreography, and those crazy Ford commercials! We've finally arrived at a real elimination show. No surprises on the one going home, Brandon Rogers, but after another half hour of A.I., I'm left with some unanswered questions.

1. Why do they subject these poor contestants to such awful choreography during the group numbers?

2. Was there a reason that Brandon did more posing and less singing during the group song? (Maybe lyrical amnesia?)

3. How does Simon choose when to change shirts?

4. If running through all 12 contestants can be done in less than 60 seconds, why have they dragged it out in past years?

5. Why can't some people just call it a career after 4 decades instead of embarrassing themselves into a fifth?

6. And on a related note, why couldn't we put Diana Ross in the bottom 3 tonight? Her performance warranted it, and since she coached last night's performances I hold her partially responsible.

7. Why was the saxophone player giving Diana Ross the evil eye during her performance? (Maybe he thought he could sing it better.)

8. Why is Blake holding out on us? In other words, why didn't he break dance last night?

9. Why are adolescent cell phone bills so high? I mean, answering that ridiculous question only costs 99 cents per text message, plus standard text messaging rates. And why do they need the phones in the first place?!

10. Sanjaya looks like he's in agony up there every night. When will people just let him go?

See you all next week for what should be another great set of performances!