Hell Today, Hell Tomorrow

So, they've cut down 5 days of Hollywood auditions to 1 hour. I should cut my list of ten lessons we've learned down to 3 or 4 words. I'm already over the limit so I can keep going or I can stop now. I guess I'll keep going, but I really am underwhelmed at this point.

Here are my "Top 10 Things We've Learned in Hollywood."

10. Sundance Head is among the "undeserving" to this point. Great audition. Terrible Hollywood. I admit we didn't see his final solo audition, but he really shouldn't have made it that far.

9. Gossip and rumors surrounding Hollywood are most certainly just that: rumors. Both of our potentially disqualified contestants (Ashlynn Carr--sweetening her boyfriend's gasoline, and Sean Michel--refusing to chop the locks) were really sent home because their auditions weren't good enough.

8. Pleas for a second chance/second song/second look/etc. will not be rewarded, especially if your mother appears on stage to present them. You pick the song. You deal with the consequences.

7. Get it together! I loved the group with Chris Sligh, the beatboxer, et al. From what they showed us, they looked great, and it looks as though all (?) of them made it through so far.

6. Momma supports you, but if you forget the words she may just say, "You what?!" I wasn't mentally prepared for 15 weeks of telephone calls and tearful exchanges, but I did feel a bit sorry for the kid (Matt Cato?) at that point.

5. If you have reservations about the group you joined (they're totally BFF!) make a switch before the audition the next morning. Confronting the group afterward won't help you get through to the next round. I did enjoy seeing the "trained" one of the group get sent home, though (albeit a day later)! I guess God does like good people!

4. I'm tired of hearing people sing their original audition songs on the first day of Hell Week. Can we all say "one dimensional" together? Thank you. It's come back to haunt many, many contestants, past and present.

3. Your hips do lie.

2. Having a My Space page doesn't mean you will make it on A.I. I mean, they let anyone have a blog these days!

1. One week in Hell can't chase the nice out of genuinely good people. I loved seeing Sanjaya Malakar run to find his sister rather than whoop and holler with the rest of the 40. He should have plenty of moments to celebrate as time goes on. Thanks Sanjaya for one of the more uplifting moments this season so far.

Here is my haiku, inspired by this uninspiring show:

One hour departed
Forty contestants remain
Did I miss something?

I thought I wanted more time to see Hollywood crap, but I'm actually a bit glad that tomorrow we get the Top 24 and then get on with the show. I'm ready to hear the "real" stuff and not the fluff. I am not ready for more Ford commercials, however!