Idol Does Birth Songs

Every year. Every year they run out of time for the top 8. And yet they continue to make it an hour-long show. And they continue to fill it with nonsense at the beginning. And they continue to rush us through the wrap up, making us feel dizzy and used by the time the "19" fireworks flash.

People who only TiVoed one hour tonight are going to be SO. MAD.

Before I get to anything about tonight, someone please tell me who the cyborg is in the audience tonight. Who is he? Why is he there? Why doesn't he move? Why doesn't his master make him applaud? Or blink?

I was glad to see them dispense with the judges' dramatic stage entrance and while they were all adorable babies (particularly Randy), I could've done without this segment in order to hear more Adam praise. Stupid producers.

Danny - So Gokey is the oldest and he was born in 1980. Where is my Geritol? I didn't recognize that version of "Stand By Me" but it rocked and he started out the night very, very well. There are some clear front runners in this competition and Danny is one of them. And he did a little scatting. I happen to love that.

Kris - Oh man, so that mini-interview on the stools with Ryan about the judges' awesome praise was like a really bad foreshadowing. I think he did well. It wasn't great, but it wasn't awful. Boring song, yes, but he'll be fine. I'm not tiring of him. I am, however, tiring of Simon's indulgent use of the word 'indulgent.'

Lil - Ugh. Tina Turner? A step up from Celine and Whitney, but still not Mary J. Blige. I think Lil is on her way out. And deservedly so. I predicted she'd get boring. And I was right. Listening to her say she'll do it next time for the umpteenth time is just painful and uncomfortable at this point. She's done. There is no next time. She's run out of time. You can't wait until 8 weeks in to show us that you'll listen to the judges' advice and do what suits you. Pack your bags, Lil. Nice hair, though.

Anoop - Dude sang True Colors. That rocks. The interview before was a little painful from Ryan's awkward attempt to talk about sports to his Tyra Banks wannabe attempt to stir up controversy where there is none. And Anoop can somehow pull off an Easter ensemble while still looking like he just came from math class. But dude can sing. I loved it. I love what Anoop did with this song. He done Cyndi Lauper proud. And he went beautifully into his false. Perhaps Paula said it best, "You did show your true colors, just like a rainbow." Classic. Classy. Well done.

Scott - He plays guitar? Okay, before everyone gets grumpy about his off notes, I want to say that I love this song and think it's one of THE most romantic rock ballads of the 80s. Okay, so his performance was reallllllllly painful at times. And I'd like for him to succeed, but after Lil, he's next. And then it'll be Allison and the boys battling it out for the finals. I'm LOVING this season! But we're talking about Scott. Nice kid, decent voice, rough performance, great sense of humor, a little out of his depth. He's bottom 3, but Lil should leave first.

Allison - I love that her pediatrician was so clairvoyant and that her mother totally bought into it. Her mom is so cute, you want to carry her around in your pocket. Oh! With Anoop's mom! Wouldn't that be fun? Little live dolls with cute accents. I love the idea! So, Allison did brilliantly tonight. She was wearing the head cheerleader's prom skirt from the year of her birth, but maybe I'm just shocked that she was born in 1992. The same year I graduated high school. Allison is nothing short of amazing. 16? She's brilliant. And deserves to stay around for a long time. This girl doesn't deserve to smell the bottom 3. And Simon's a self-indulgant idiot. She does so have a personality. You just have to not be so wrapped up in yourself that you miss it.

Matt - Scott setting up haunted mansions. Matt as a sassy angel. Who got these clips? I totally dig the hat on Matt. I've been hoping he'd break that out soon. I love it. I totally dig this guy. You know what? I can't stand this song and yet he made me like it tonight! He totally "soul"ed this song. Did he just look like he was going to cry when he got the (well-deserved) mad praise? I'm so happy for him. He's SO done with the bottom 3 this week. The girl judges were totally digging it. Well done, Matt. Well done indeed.

So, anyone else notice that when Ryan ran the numbers, they were already out of time? Or, if you're like some people, that's where your TiVo cut out? (A little hint: always set your TiVo to run over about 15 minutes during Idol). At least do that if you're as crazy for this show as we are. Hey, it's pretzel night! People were going crazy looking for it on the web. Here it is if you missed it. Or if you saw it and simply must see it again because it's brilliant:





Adam - Um, need I say more? I feel like I've already gushed about how awesome he is in my chat with my brother-in-law Greg tonight. But I'll do it again. He was phenomenal. PHENOMENAL. I had this massive sense of anticipation the whole show to see Adam and what he'd do and in NO way did he disappoint. Plus I love when they interview his mother and she's all, "Oh it's okay if he's not successful as long as he's happy, even if he's driving a taxi!" And then his Dad says, "It'd be nice for him to be successful, too." They're hilarious. But this performance! WOW! Talk about song choice! MAD WORLD?! Tears for Fears?! Is he freaking kidding me?! Who has done that?! NO ONE, that's who. NO ONE. And he did his own BRILLIANT take on it. UNbelievable. He slowed it down a bit. From the very first notes, I was freaking out that he was doing that song. He is BRILLIANT. Well done. Standing "O" from Simon. Well done.

And I love Paula. I love how she gets up and dances to every song. She reminds me of people you see who drive around singing at the top of their lungs, devil may care. I love her comments. I love her rhetoric. I love her sense of humor.

I'm not any kind of crazy stalker, but I often think it would be fun to host her for a weekend. You almost feel protective of her. People can be so cruel. So she seems like she's on drugs sometimes. I like her. I think she's adorable. Plus, I'm one of the millions of little girls who sang and danced along to "Forever my Girl" and "Straight Up" with reckless abandon. And I'm totally proud of it.

So, Best to Worst tonight:

Adam
Matt
Allison
Danny
Anoop
Kris
Scott
Lil

Going home: Lil