It's a twofer

Yesterday

I went into this finale not as hyped as I usually feel. I think it's because I felt sort of apathetic about the results. I like both of them and they're simply very different styles, so may the man with the most votes win, you know? Three years ago, we hooked up the power dialer for Elliott. This year? Not so much.

I hated the stupid montage of video clips of the two finalists. They were way too contrived. Because no way did Kris, of his own accord, say, "I'm the voice in the crowd that needs to be heard" or "I am ready." And no way did Adam, of his own accord, say, "I am 1 of 100,000" or "I am a dreamer" or "I'm a superstar in the making." Okay, maybe Adam. But not Kris.

And then they cut to Ryan standing on a podium holding a mic and all I can think is, "Is that rotating American Idol tower going to fall?" I blame this show for my newly acquired stage PTSD.

And don't you love it when Idol gets all clever? Acoustic Rocker vs. Glam Rocker. Conway vs. California. And my personal favorite: The Guy Next Door vs. The Guyliner.

What on earth was Randy wearing (I could repeat that question for tonight as well)?? And are plaids and strips and polka dots now considered matching? I've noticed this trend recently, and frankly, it disturbs me. Kara work black. Paula wore . . . is there a name for that color? Lime? And Simon wore a jacket. Fancy.

Kris won the coin toss and decided to go second. Brave when you're up against Mr. Over the Top himself. I mean that in a good way since I like Adam. I just think going second after him might sound weak.

Round 1

We learned that Adam used to scream as a baby. And that he was hyper. All the pieces fall into place. And after the Coke bubbles take over his face on the video screen, we are treated to his pick of the season, Mad World. Smart choice. I love it. And he mixed it up from his other performance. Plus he dressed up like something out of Twilight and there was more fog.

I've liked Kara this season but watching her over the past few months has been like observing a steadily building human crescendo. Her use of superlatives is, to borrow one of her favorite terms, ridiculous. She's been steadily peaking and now she can't quite go any higher so she just looks like she tapped into some stash of crazy drugs while she starts screaming extreme adjectives at the contestants. And I keep wincing awaiting the explosion.

We then learn that Kris didn't like to sing in front of his family (something our son feels he has in common with Kris . . . perhaps we have a future Idol in our midst?) but gave his mother coupons for free Kris singing. Awwwwww. Then we got treated to Kris behind the piano singing Ain't No Sunshine, which was awesome. Falling Slowly is still my favorite on Kris, but this was a wise choice. For an underdog, he came across as extremely confident tonight. Brilliant.

Simon gives Round 1 to Kris after admitting that he might've been wrong in assuming Danny would win. Okay, well not in so many words, but we all know what it meant.

Round 2

This was the round of socially conscious lyrics. Adam sang A Change is Gonna Come and it was excellent. Kris sang What's Goin' On and it was very good but a little cheesy for me in arrangement. I do totally agree with Kara that these kinds of songs suit Kris quite well.

Simon calls Round 2 as Adam's (anyone else sensing a pattern year after year?)

Round 3

This is the round we all dread. Unless we're stupid enough to believe that they'll actually write something good for these contestants to sing. They're always looking at clouds and chasing rainbows and climbing mountains and reaching for stars and flying. And it's all a bit gaggy. Adam did okay with it. Kris didn't fare as well. I had hoped he'd "make it his own" (sorry, Greg) and go acoustic on it or something. But no matter what either of them did, the song was awful. Poor guys. That's just cruel. And one of them has to sing it tomorrow while confetti flies and fire sparkles rain down. Ugh.

It's anybody's game. I like them both. I really don't care who wins. Potato. Potata. I predict Kris will win because I imagine he's getting Danny's votes. Plus I heard something about the Christian right voting pro-Christian or anti-gay or something. And the GOP hasn't won anything in a while, so Palin may be mobilizing the voters. Heaven help us all. It really doesn't matter who wins. They'll both do fine. The lines were jammed. Go Adam. Or Kris.

Tonight

Or last night if you're being technical (hey, we got a late start watching it). I love finale nights. I love all the extra fun stuff they do -- funny skits, awards, famous guests . . . it's a party! Oh and they all dress in white and there are gospel choirs . . . I love finales! I'm giddy from the opening.

100 million votes. Sweet Frances. The GOP did rally indeed.

I loved the hilarious judge intros. LOVED them. For me for you, sweetie, it was uncompromising, distinctual, masterful brilliance. What was that?

Talking to the Idols at the onset with nonfunctioning microphones was a little anticlimactic.

But yay, the Top 13 entered in full force dressed in white! It was a little West Side Story meets Grease for me (for them), but I like seeing them all again. And I love that Matt had a matching fedora for every number tonight.

I read a very moving article about David Cook and his brother's passing a couple of weeks ago and, no lie, I cried. Hearing him sing that song tonight was very tender. I was amazed by his maturity and composure singing that haunting melody to those poignant lyrics. I love David Cook and thought what they did with that song was great. Nice guy, great rocker. Love him.

Our first Golden Idol Award goes to Norman Gentle. Raise your hand if you didn't see that one coming.

Then we listened to Lil butcher yet another song, only this time she did it while singing with Queen Latifah. Why she got to sing with a famous person, I don't know. They usually do that with the top 3. Wasn't she like 6th place? It, unsurprisingly, wasn't good. I don't understand the air time.

Loved Jason Mraz's group number. That guy rules. Plus he was wearing a peace t-shirt, cool hat, and was barefoot. He's like a total frat boy hippie. I like it. Choosing Alexis and Anoop was wise and having all 13 join in was great. I really enjoyed it.

Kris sang a duet with Keith Urban. Surprising combo, but I liked it. I dig Kris on the guitar. "I Wanna Kiss a Girl." I thought it would've been cute if he could've actually kissed his wife after that number. Mark noticed that they didn't have Adam sing this song. Enough on that. Was it me or did Kris sound better than Keith?

We were subjected to more crap that is the girls of this season. Glamorous, they sang (and spelled even). But glamorous they were not. They all looked hideous. What the ?? But then Fergie came out and sang. She has the face of Kirstie Alley but the body of, well, not Kirstie Alley. Ahem. Then they brought out the Black Eyed Peas. Holy hell, what was that?? Disturbing, but yet you couldn't help but watch those walking optical illusions. Boom, boom, boom. What on earth were they saying when the FCC imposed its 2-second rule and cut out part of the performance? Because if you listen closely, it should've been imposed twice. And it wasn't. Boom Boom that.

Ryan said, "Boom Boom Pow." I don't know how he stays employed.

I could've done without the return of Bikini Girl. Except for the part where they totally mocked her and new ladies (which were totally double sided taped, by the way). And the part where Kara came out and totally mopped the floor with her. LOVED that. And I love that Kara totally whipped open her dress for charity, too. At least she bares all for a good cause.

When I heard that Allison was going to duet with Cyndi Lauper, I was not excited. In fact, I was annoyed that they hadn't arranged a better match for our rocker girl. I recently heard Cyndi Lauper and it was decidedly NOT good. But I take it back. I liked it a lot. Cyndi is odd and plays the sitar. That's kind of cool. And they had a cool Indigo Girls sound about them. It was a really cool duet and the dynamics and harmony were fantastic. Allison is seasoned. You have to remind yourself that she hasn't yet graduated high school. Excellent.

Ryan does brief interviews with Kris's parents (why don't they ever talk to his wife??) and Adam's parents. I love that Adam's mom was singing along to EVERY song performed tonight.

Danny did a duet with Lionel Richie. Tonight I noticed how many songs Lionel has sung that have to do with playing as a way to avoid work. Chill. Just go. Party. Karamu. Fiesta. Forever. All night long. Raise the roof and have some fun. Dance on the Ceiling.

They did Adam's montage and I'm sad to say that they emphasized how Randy Travis didn't like Ring of Fire but failed to add how stupid he and Simon were on that one since THAT was a B-R-I-L-L-I-A-N-T performance. One of my very favorites. I LOVE that Adam rocked out with KISS complete with black and white face make up and wagging tongue (KISS, not Adam). It was AWESOME. KISS both scared me and impressed me when I was a kid. Not much has changed. It was so freaking awesome. And I loved the spiral-y fire rain in the background, even if the KISS guitarist is too old to smash his guitar the first 4 tries.

They then brought out Carlos Santana (I LOVE IDOL FINALES!!) and Matt Giraud joined him on stage with a black fedora and a shirt to match the guitar. It was AWESOME. And then all the idols in black and red came out to jam along to Smooth. Very nice.

Cool Ford commercial with Adam and Kris singing a nice tribute to all of the top 13. Very sweet.

Then David Cook presented them with what wasn't really that much of a surprise at all--new Fords! I see Kris driving that. Adam, not so much. Not sure what I see him driving though.

And then, in tonight's "What the . . . " moment, as if to totally parody the messes that are Michael Sarver and Megan Corkrey in one fell swoop, they had them sing songs about going out to dinner and walking by the river (la la la la la la la la) together 30 years ago while Steve Martin played the banjo. It was all a bit . . . bizarre. And horrendous. I mean really, really awful.

The boys came out looking smashing in their dark suits. And unlike the girls, who didn't look one bit glamorous, the boys did look sexy (well, some of them) as they sang, "If You Like My Body and You Think I'm Sexy." Rod Stewart came out and actually sounded all right for an older dude. He's still got it.

And then again, not surprisingly, Tatiana "graced" the stage. I called that before the finale even started. I called that during her tedious auditions and all the horrible camera time they've invested in her. Yuck.

The treat of the night for me was . . . I got my wish!! Adam did Queen!! WITH Queen! He is Freddy Mercury reincarnated! You could tell the band was LOVING him and eying him with a "I hope you lose so you can come be our new lead singer" look. That. Was. AWESOME.

While they sang, the gospel choir filed out, since there are like a hundred of them. And you just knew that, gods help us, one of them was going to have to sing that terrible No Boundaries song again, this time with gospel choirs.

And, as promised, Idol went over and the winner wasn't announced until after the initial 2 hours. Simon said a bunch of cheesy positive stuff, sounding a bit like Paula to be honest. Incredibly nice people? Both of you should be very proud? The future is all yours? Who's dipping into Paula's stash now?

Poindexter walked out, blocked the Top 2, and announced that he had a secret envelope. Ryan opened it up and announced Kris Allen as the winner. Adam looked genuinely happy for him (and I'm betting he is) and Kris was speechless. He kept trying to talk about Adam and the others while Ryan perpetually interrupted him (seriously, how is he still employed at what he does?).

He sang No Boundaries better than he did yesterday. It was so fun to see him sing it again, surrounded by the Idols, and then seeing it all hit him as he hugged his wife and cried. I knew he'd win (see, I AM clairvoyant) and I'm fine with it (though our son is not). I think we've mostly felt like whoever wins, wins. They'll both do fine.

Kris moved behind the judges and avoided the raining fire cheese that usually is the final song. Cute kid. Nice guy. Good singer. I'm happy for them both. And I don't have that stupid No Boundaries song in my head. No, instead I have this in my head:

Go-Go-Gokey

Indeed. Let's get to it.

We start with Ben Stiller and company telling us that the American Idol desk is going to be in the Smithsonian. Smithsonian? Smithsonian! Hey, they're in a movie filmed at the Smithsonian! What an incredible coincidence.

And seriously? A desk? Who thinks that's a desk? It's more like a monstrous glitzy console. And I wonder, do the red coke glasses get to go to the museum, too? Because without them, it's just a table with the American Idol logo on it. Quite frankly, it's almost unrecognizable.

After that shameless movie plug and a little a lot of stalling on Ryan's part (Fringe viewers must be elated for that) so that Paula could get back from the bathroom, he introduced the judges.

We were then treated to the Ford video set to "Break My Stride." I proudly admit that I sang along to the whole thing and I remembered EVERY lyric. It's one of my favorites from growing up. All three contestants (top three male contestants - this is a first in Idol history and I like it!) exhibited their super powers in cartoon -- Adam can find secret walls that turn into grills with sizzling steak on them and save them from big dogs, Kris can get really big and blow ominous clouds away, and Danny can turn into Elastiboy and move traffic out of his way. Go buy a Ford.

And after Carrie Underwood's uncomfortably dreadful video appearance yesterday (“Have you ever had malaria?” No. “Good. Then the mosquito net’s working.” ), we got to hear something far more articulate from Alicia Keyes. Ryan asked the audience to give her a "warm welcome." Simon gawked like a dirty, old man. He's not one bit subtle. I gawked a little, too. She looked hot.

Then we got to hear a little Rwandan boy named Noah work the stage better than Jasmine Trias ever did. I think it's dang impressive that he learned the song in English in one week, but I just want to know if he was saying that his back was up against the law? I was unclear. My favorite part of his performance was when he danced up to the judges and shook their hands while dancing and singing. That's more coordination than Danny's ever been able to handle. And I love that Simon smiled and said, "Hello, Noah" while he sang. And Noah, ladies and gentlemen, is one of the first guest artists to not lip sync his performance, so he should get a prop for that.

Another thing I love about Top 3 week is getting to see the top 12 in the audience. I love the finale and the lead up excites me.

So, we also got to see their hometown visits. Danny returned to Milwaukee and got to see Jamar, be on the radio, pick Simon's nose on a weather map, and watch fans try to outrun his stretched out suburban. Ryan tells us several weeks ago that the studio uses earth friendly lights and other eco gadgets and then they blow it all on the emissions for that beast that holds one person plus the driver. Duh.

Kris returned to Conway, Arkansas. I hadn't really noticed that he's a good southern boy. That plays in his favor to win. Many an Idol comes from the South. So, Kris didn't just get a day in his honor. He got free cheese dip for life. Not sure what's better, that or the free Ford he'll get next week. I'm gonna have to go with the cheese dip. Kris got to go on the radio and tell caller 8 that he was a winner and then a loser. Then he got to see the enormous crowd that was waiting for him. I'm not sure what possessed him to jump into it, but he (and his three large bodyguards) did just that. Girls were grabbing him and tearing at his leather jacket. After that, his wife rode up front with him. Anyone else notice that his mom and his wife don't hug? Mother-in-law issues anyone? We hear from his parents, we hear from Kris, but nada from the wifey. During the parade, he got to see old ladies in pink dresses and green hair (they were confused and thought it was Adam's parade). And what on earth is with all the screaming 4-year-olds?? I thought teenagers and tweeners and maybe 8-year-olds were the types, but 4-year-olds? I don't care, though, because they played his "Falling Slowly" performance to the montage and I love that song. Kris is adorable and has quickly worked his way to the top of my list of favorites.

Then we got to watch Jordin Sparks perform. My, has little Jordin grown up or is it me? She was STUNNINGly beautiful. She looked fantastic. I think she's got great stage presence. Talk about passion. She flung her ring at the camera man! She's so comfortable up there and is dramatic and convincing in her presentation of lyrics. I don't know about you, but I ran out and bought some armor by the time she got to the first bridge. Move over Pat Benetar. Love is not just a battlefield. It's an all out war.

Adam got to go all the way to San Diego where he got to sign shoes, Guitar Hero guitars, and old men's polo shirts. He got to experience having a streaker rush him on stage. He also got to apply eyeliner to the anchor woman. Just a banner day all around. He then sang the national anthem at a military base. Don't ask. Don't tell.

Ryan then announced the next guest artist, Katy Perry, which got a big "who?" from me. It had slot machines. It had showgirls. It had raining money. She was wearing what I can only assume was an Elvis bathing suit. After seeing Alicia and Jordin on stage, the sequined bathing suit just wasn't doing it for me.

Then it was results time. I think I may have damaged a vocal chord when they announced that Kris was safe. YES! That announcement shocked two people on stage--Kris and Danny. Knocked the smugness right off of Danny's 5 o'clock shadowed face. It apparently shocked 4 people at "the desk," too. Oh well, my dears, over 88 million votes have spoken. And apparently, only 1 million separate Kris from Adam.

Gokey fans need not worry. You'll hear Danny on your favorite Christian Rock radio stations where he'll be using his husky, raspy goodness to sing about Jesus and rock-n-roll. That's what he wants to do and now he has the AI platform to launch it.

I am SO EXCITED for next week's finale. I like BOTH contestants. It really comes down to personal preference. I like them both for different reasons, but if I were buying CDs, it'd be Kris's, hands down. I like Adam a lot, don't get me wrong, but I don't think Adam is necessarily a slam dunk winner. They'll both do well (on the finale and in their careers) but it's anybody's game at this point. This past year, I thought for sure little Davie Archuletta was going to win and was thrilled to hear that David Cook beat him out. I don't know what will happen but I'm excited to watch!

Judges' and Contestants' Picks

This is going to be brief because I'm tired. We've been working our tail ends off around here and we're beat. Also, my inbox has grown to over 100 emails. I owe some of you emails. They're coming. We're mostly just swamped.

JUDGES' PICKS

Danny's 1st song - I think Terrence Trent D'arby was a good choice but that song, not so much. It was okay but nothing memorable. In fact, I already forgot it.

Kris's 1st song - Loved it. Those first two judges are sometimes deaf to talent and style. I heard his originality in the song and I love his voice and easy manner.

Adam's 1st song - I didn't like the arrangement. I was so excited when Simon named the song ("One" by U2) but it was too Broadway and too far from the original. You know on his second song, Adam said he didn't change it up much because the original is so good. I wish he'd thought the same of One. Love the song, didn't like the performance or arrangement all that much.

CONTESTANTS' PICKS (Clearly they're better at this than the judges)

Danny's 2nd song - Joe Cocker's "You Are So Beautiful?" Brilliant choice. Perfectly suited to Danny's voice. Well done. Loved it.

Kris's 2nd song - HOLY MOSES it was good. HOLY MOSES! I LOVED IT! I would buy his album in a heartbeat. Like Mark says, he's the most relevant of the 3. And I love that song 2 was a big "in your face" to Randy and Kara -- why didn't he do the first song with an acoustic guitar? That's why. Kris rules. He played sans band. Who does that?! And it was awesome. I loved it. And for those keeping score at home -- Kris played piano and then guitar. The other two did not play instruments. I know it's a singing competition, but I'm just sayin' . . .

Adam's 2nd song - AWESOME. True rocker. Love it. We have no one like him nowadays. Excellent. Well done.


Best to worst:

Kris's 2nd song
Adam's 2nd song
Danny's 2nd song
Kris's 1st song
Adam's 1st song
Danny's 1st song

Do you see a trend? I'm hoping for a Kris-Adam finale. :) And, as of right now, I think Kris may be my favorite.

And then there were 3 . . .

Our kids spent most of the evening confused since Ryan was talking about sending everyone home, "safe" or not. You're safe! You're going home! It's the end of the road, you're going home! What? We had to keep explaining the difference between going home and going on a hometown visit. The whole thing really made the results much less dramatic.

I've decided that there are no surprises at this point since they're all good. I'm glad Kris is safe. I'm disappointed that Allison hasn't gotten the praise she deserves. That kid is extremely talented. I love her voice.

Beyond that, dear readers, I refer you to Magistra since she, as usual, captured it all so well. Enjoy. Click here for her very, very good review.

Idol Gossip

Every week, I read Magistra's posts on Philly Burbs. I'd love to be discovered by some site or paper and be asked to write about Idol. Omigosh, can you imagine? Or Amazing Race. Or both!

I digress.

Her post about yesterday was VERY interesting and she pointed out something I hadn't noticed to the extent she had. After reading her review, we rewatched a few parts of the show and she is spot on . . . something was VERY wrong between Kris and Danny yesterday. Watch it again if you can--it's there. And you don't have to dig too hard to find it.

Anyway, check it out. And keep your eye on things tonight . . .

P.S. I love that she calls Kris a monchichi . . . the child of the 80s in me LOVES that reference. LOVE it.

What?! No Rockin' Robin?!

Rock and Roll night finally arrived on Idol, which was a long-anticipated event for Thing 2. It pretty much played out like I'd expected--a widening gap between contestants, ridiculous comments from the judges, and the mosh pit full of posers. Slash was a fairly useless mentor as far as I could tell. He was good for the "is that a nose ring/watch me smoke a cigarette while playing guitar in a music video/topless guitar soloist from the 80s" sort of entertainment value, but I think all those drugs may have altered his ability to provide beneficial, constructive criticism for the contestants. They all seemed to "have fun," though, so score a point for another one-name wonder.

Now, let me make a list of my non-performance-related complaints (well, the ones I haven't listed yet). I'm just in that kind of mood, I guess.

*Predictably, Simon will start to turn on certain contestants in order to engineer a finale he's predicted, regardless of the true merits (or lack thereof) of each performance.

*What the hell happened to Kara? She and Slash must have shared a little somethin' somethin' before the show because she was out there! Maybe her hair was pulled back too tightly, at least the hair that wasn't trying to escape upward.

*Either the tower wasn't really that broken or that beverage sponsor wields some amazing power over the flow of the show because no way I do the cola interview under that thing!

*We deserve to know how the duets were picked, because the conspiracy theorist in me would say they're looking to influence the voters. The pairings were perfect, but a little transparency would be appreciated.

*I think Kara is making up words every week. It's like a new obsession with her. I've never heard of giving someone a "prop," as in one prop. I guess that's for when you're not sufficiently impressed enough to give out "props" or even better, "mad props."

OK, on to my contestant-by-contestant thoughts.

Adam Lambert: Really, all he could do this week was either hold steady or fail miserably. Obviously this is the week we really expected him to shine and that's what he did. I still think he's an amazing talent and deserves to be in the finale, but I wonder if his polarizing style will end up being much of a factor. I think there is a fairly sizable subset of the population that doesn't care for him at all. I just don't know if it 's the people that vote. His duet with Allison was great, by the way. It was so apparent that they were both in their element, enjoying the moment with each other, and I think the hugs and smiles were 100% genuine. In American Idol speak that's "1 million percent."

Allison Ireheta: She deserved way more praise than she got. What is wrong with people judging this thing? Even if they weren't crazy about the song selection, she still sounded great. I'm glad to see her give it back to Simon, and of course he was good natured about it. This girl is a great talent and based on tonight should go on without a problem. On her duet with Adam you almost get the feeling that we were watching the finale already, but there is one more week to go.

Kris Allen: I love how the judges called this legendary Beatles' song "not a great song." Give me a break. Randy made the most sense and was the most believable in his praise of Kris. Kris definitely infused his style into the song and made the most of a week where he was overshadowed by Adam before he even got to pick his song. Randy was right about his duet with Danny, too--the harmonies were great but the overall performance was just alright. Again, for a week where the genre was difficult, the duet sounded pretty good. They didn't seem as comfortable together as Adam and Allison, but it's tough to say whether it was because of the theme or chemistry.

Danny Gokey: Don't do that. Ever. No, no. Danny is no Steven Tyler. Not even close. I have no idea what he was thinking with this song. I don't know what would possess this church choir singer to try and scream at the end. I'm not entirely clear how Slash even held a straight face while discussing this song. It wasn't even a little good, and I'm sick over how the judges gave him more credit than they did Kris. There was no comparison. No, no. I like Danny, but I've got to be fair here.

I don't know how they'll break the news this week. Hopefully they just have the three guest artists perform and then hand out a single "you over there, you're going home." I'm sure there will be a bit more suspense, though.

Based on tonight, Skipping the Hometown Visit, but Still Getting One Prop from Kara: Danny Gokey

Rock Night on Idol

Warning: I'm in a rare bad mood. Our hot water tank is having issues. Again. (Long story). And we missed both a concert and a party tonight to be here for the repair guy to come fix it. He didn't show nor did he call. We have a house guest coming in a week (that, we're excited about) and we want it fixed before he gets here (oh, it will be). And I might be slightly hormonal tonight. You've been warned.

So Ryan started us off by telling us that tonight we're "very live." I wondered if that meant no FCC 3-second delay for possible wardrobe malfunctions. But apparently it means that towers were falling and glass was popping and the Idols didn't get to have a dress rehearsal.

But, as they say, the show must go on. And now that I've watched it, I wish part of it hadn't. Yikes.

I know they have to do the weekly intro of the judges, but I really wish they'd just smile and wave. You know, like Paula does.

Instead we're subjected to Randy . . . what is that, woofing?, Kara opening her mouth and waving her arms like a groupie at a bus station, Paula (smile and wave), and disinterested Simon who sort of stares, looks like he's thinking about his next smoke break, and rolls his eyes.

And as if that's not enough, we also have to sit through Randy booing Simon every time he's introduced as if that's funny. It's not funny. It's insufferable. And whoever is in charge of his mic should be fired for not cutting his audio after his ceremonial woofing.

And Slash. As a mentor. Obviously a shameless plug for his new album, because honestly, he added absolutely nothing of value. He had nothing of substance to say and very little advice. Methinks his brain is a wee bit fried from one too many puffs of doobie (and yes, I had to Google that to find out if I was using it correctly. Shut up.)

Adam ("A Whole Lotta Love" by Led Zeppelin): Honestly he scared me a little. I like toned-down Adam better (think Ring of Fire, Mad World, Tracks of my Tears), though he obviously still did a slammin' job. Kara, with her magic rock hair, seemed extra hyper tonight. I mean, holy crap. Rock God? I might've enjoyed that comment if I hadn't spent the entire time wondering what my accountant brother-in-law would think of the performance while I looked for coded messages in Adam's eyes. So I can give credit where it's due, but if I'm being honest, I didn't love it. Personal preference. QUEEN. I said QUEEN, Adam.

Allison ("Cry Baby" by Janis Joplin): This girl just does NOT get enough credit. The judges should be pointing out constantly that she is the last girl standing. By. A. Freaking. Mile. Her performance may not have been her best to date, but dude, she's 17 and has mad, mad pipes. And when she finally talked back and let Simon have it? She won me over. And that's saying something, because the back talk is generally off putting to me. But tonight? I wanted to cheer out loud for her--the talking back was great and it was honestly about time. Unlike Lil who had the same nonsense to say every time after weekly horrid performances, Allison actually has substance, soul, sass, AND the ability to sing. So, you tell him, girl! She should be praised to the hills for what she does. And then some.

Duet by Danny and Kris: Okay, that was kind of weird. It was good. But it was also weird. I agree with Randy--the harmony was good, the individual vocals not so much. But, while neither of these guys is a rocker by nature, I think Kris is more natural at it than awkward Danny. Kris has a sexy Chris Daughtry stance and seems to have a very natural relationship with the mic stand and the stage. Whereas Danny just looks like he just signed up for dance lessons in a class during some awkward adolescent stage to --insert deep, manly voice here-- *scratch* "learn coordination for sports." *snort*

And the judges judging the duets is just stupid. But what really ticks me off is stupid jerkface Simon and his apathetic shoulder shrug and snide laughter, "What? What do you want me to say? Who's better?" Idiot. It's a duet. No one asked who's better. Moron.

Kris ("Come Together" by The Beatles): I think it's charming that he said of singing with Slash, "I almost wanted to pee my pants," don't you? I don't know that I'd call his performance the lunchtime equivalent of chewing ice made of mineral water. No, scratch that. I categorically would not have called it that at all. In fact, that analogy never would've entered my head, mineral, bottled, tap, or otherwise. It wasn't great, but I think Kris was smart to choose The Beatles. I think Kris's biggest challenge is being taken seriously. He has a baby face. He looks like some kid playing with his band in a garage when he's on stage. Kind of like that kid in that movie "The Rocker." I should know. We've been trying to get through that movie for 3 nights. I keep falling asleep. I apparently need commercials to fast forward. Kris's performance wasn't amazing, but he didn't deserve the slamming he got.

Danny ("Dream On" by Aerosmith): How'd you like that little Where's Waldo Find Danny in the mosh pit bit before the commercial? Yeah, me either. That was a train wreck. Danny actually got more credit tonight for "effort" and "risk" (neither of which paid off) than Kris did for actually singing well! That last note being like a scream in a horror movie? Now that is an analogy I can get on board with. And if we're going to critique, Danny's intonation is so bizarre (mirror becomes meeeror and true becomes trewwww). It's very distracting. But not distracting enough for me to not notice the horrible singing and performing tonight. What the ?? What on earth was he thinking? I don't think he was. That was really bad. The first part of the performance was way too slow and Danny looked drugged. Now I know he was doing it on purpose thinking, "Crap, oh crap. Sing slow, Danny. Drag it out, man. Maybe it'll go way over into Fringe and Fox will cut it off before I totally slaughter that last note. Dude, I cannot hit that note. What the hell was I thinking choosing this song? Fall, towers, fall!"

Man, I knew he wouldn't hit that note even before he started the song. Slash knew it. Remember Slash? The MENTOR. Obviously he knew it by what he said. Some mentor. At what point did he decide not to tell Danny that there was no way he was going to even come close to pulling that off? That was a wrong song choice if I've ever heard one. That should win some kind of "wrong song choice" award. And it should be displayed. In every Idol's mansion bedroom from this season forward, serving as a reminder that "No. No, no, no." As in no no no no no. (Sorry, I could only find it in Spanish).

My favorite part of Danny's, well, everything tonight was when Paula said, "How many Danny fans are out there?" and they went to shot of three 6-year-olds holding a Go-Go-Gokey sign and having a very delayed reaction to the question. That part made me laugh out loud. I think the nervous tension that had collected during his performance had to come out. It was just so wrong. That was a bad, bad, crazy bad last note. Poor Danny doesn't even know yet how bad it was. Like he said, he'll find out when he watches it back. Or perhaps he got a taste when the editors (who should apparently also be fired) decided to put that clip of his song in that reminder-of-tonight's-performances montage. Even Paula sat down from her dancing and air punches when he hit (or rather, didn't) that note. I think on some level, he had to know. Hence the awkward overcompensating with the band afterward. You know, the part that made me flashback to his dance class sign up? And then Simon's prescient "I think you're going to be safe" comment got an audible gag from me. Hmmmm, who did he predict would be in the finals? Oh yeah, that's right. Adam and Danny. And God forbid Simon be wrong. Idiot.

Duet by Adam and Allison: If there was a saving grace tonight, this was it. The singing was phenomenal, but it was only enhanced by their matching boots, twinner hairstyle outing to Adam's "hair girl," and how they absolutely ran to each other after their performance. I loved it! These two are natural rockers and it shows. EVERY time. Loved it. I've been vacillating between an Adam-Allison finale and an Adam-Kris finale, but tonight told me what I really want. Based on tonight, I hope it comes down to these 2 in the finale. They deserve it. Adam will win and that's fine, but this would be an enjoyable finale.

And based on tonight, Danny should go home. Or sign up for dance lessons. Or do sound effects for horror movies. Or chew ice for lunch. Something.

Best to worst:

Adam
Allison
Kris
Danny

Going home:

Anyone's guess. This top 4 rocks. Duets with any other top 4 would've bombed. Badly. Thank goodness Lil is gone.

4 Idols Left

Well, it's the next day so that oughta tell you how busy we are. I mean, we haven't blogged about Idol yet. Seriously, where are our priorities?? This, together with my overloaded inbox, shows how crazy things have been around here.

But since we pretty much love blogging about this show, I want to say something. I do think, however, that Magistra said it best this week with this paragraph from her weekly post:

Next up was the LIVE! group song, which was much more in tune this week thanks to the absence of Lil Rounds. Matt Giraud kept throwing random riffs and falsettos into the performance wherever he felt like it. Kris Allen showed us that snapping and dancing are not two of his talents. And Adam and Danny received the biggest screams. During the performance of “I Got Rhythm” I found it interesting that Adam was not asked so sing one of the lines that included “I got my man/gal, who could ask for anything more.” I wonder whose decision that was.

What more can I say? Apparently, lots.

Let's start with the annual, not so surprising anymore, bottom 3 fake out. I really thought Adam was going to sit down and not choose. But I still admire how he handled it. Plus, I think it shows he hasn't been watching Idol all these years. He's been, you know, on stage.

But my biggest beef with the bottom 3 fake out is this . . . though they didn't specifically say what exact order they're all in, it stands to reason that Adam was probably in 3rd place. So technically he could've stood in either group and still have been right. If you're 3rd, you're both in the top 3 and the bottom 3. So, really, it was just a little "shocker" since it kind of really wasn't.

It's anyone's game at this point. It made sense for Matt to go. I've not ever seen such a great top 5. There's usually someone I can't stand at this point (and usually up to the top 2 or 3). But this year, that isn't the case. Lil left a week ago.

And that little bill? For $6,000? For that food fight they had? Seriously? I'd like to see the bill Dreamworks gets for the advertising for their new movie that Jaime Foxx slipped in before that commercial break. If maids cleaning cake are charging 6 grand, I can't even imagine what that cost.

And next week is rock week. Does it really matter anymore? Disco wasn't quite disco (thankfully). Jazz wasn't quite jazz (a bit of a bummer). Rock will be . . . what. I don't really care. Truth is, I've always liked theme weeks because the Idols have to find a way to sing a song that fits the genre while still making it their own and keeping it relevant. To a nerd like me, that's like Pi Day. I think it's great that it just doesn't matter. You know why? Because it means these Idols are they best they've had. They practically make us forget the theme because they're so good at making anything their own. This is the best Top 5 we've ever had. They usually have one or two stinkers in there by now, but not this year. You know, since Lil left.

I think next week is Adam's week. I'm expecting some serious Queen madness! (I hope you're reading, Greg!)

Idol Does The Ratpack

Well, that will teach me to look up AI spoilers. Someone wrote up a list of what the Idols would be singing that they got from "a source from Ricky Minor's band" and all of them were wrong. They're either liars or the source is messing with them. I like the idea of the latter. Reminds me of when I would write wrong answers on my math test to screw over the chick who was cheating off of me to my left. I love when the geeks get one on the others.

And 2 numbers?? I guess by 2 numbers for each Idol, they meant numbers to call, not 2 performances each. Lame.

And I'm not generally one to look up spoilers. I only did it to help the kids become familiar with Rat Pack songs during our research of the Rat Pack itself so that they would excitedly recognize the songs. We listened to Jazz and Big Band all day yesterday. And yet, we categorically did not hear even one of those songs. Not one. Who knew the Idols would go all balladeer on us last night? So much for my "Hey kids, see that? Jazz is great music that makes you snap right along to it!"

But I am totally digging the look--all the Idols looked hot, hot hot. There's something about a crooner dressed in a suit that makes a girl melt a little.

Thing 2 pointed out that there were 5 Idols and 5 members of the Rat Pack and proudly used the word "coincidence" correctly. I love Word Girl.

So, they seriously invited Jaime Foxx to be a guest mentor?? Right after hosting Miley Cyrus?? That just seemed odd. Kind of like serving up crap for dessert after a mediocre meal. I'm having a really hard time liking Jaime Foxx after his little tirade about Miley. I'm not a Miley fan, but he was totally inappropriate. I had wanted to see that movie "The Soloist" but his tirade ruined it for me. Stupid Jaime Foxx.

I have to admit he was a pretty good mentor for the Idols, though. [sound of crickets chirping] Yep, that's all I've got.

I was hoping for Michael Buble. Sigh.

I warn you now. The Idol conspiracy theorist in me is in full force. Get ready.

Kris - "The Way You Look Tonight": First of all, I can't listen to this song without hearing a very nasal-y "I love the way YOU look EVERY NIGHT, Chandler Bing! Rha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha." It's disturbing. That being said, I think Simon was on drugs tonight, because Kris was awesome. He didn't mess with the integrity of the song while still giving it that very recognizable "Kris" sound. Artistry. This boy has it. He has such control and that last note was gorgeous. It gave me chills. He really is a "contemporary crooner." Simon was completely off base. Simon is stupid.

See, this is the point in the season where I start to hate Simon for putting his arrogant need to be right ahead of anything else. Simon doesn't know music. He knows what sells, I'll give him that. But when it comes to music, he is often wrong. And every season around this time, he starts to predict the final 2 (though I think it's hilarious how all of the judges have predicted just about all of them right into the finals . . . um, little memo to the judges--only 2 can be in the finals despite what you say or do, save or no save). Earlier this week, Idiot said that he would put money on an Adam-Danny finale. [Conspiracy Theorist] Hmmmm, I know! So that everyone keeps thinking Simon is sooooo cool and so good at what he does, let's have Danny and Adam have the more memorable 4th and 5th spots while giving the easier-to-be-forgotten spots to those other three. Oooh and then, Simon can slam the first 3, no matter how good their performances are, and tell them they don't have what it takes to win this or be a star. Then Simon can sit and smirk and smugly shrug and congratulate himself on being so freaking awesome and smart when Adam and Danny are safe and the others are in the bottom 3. [/Conspiracy Theorist] Hmph. Friends reference #2 (from 1:40 to the end).

Allison - "Someone to Watch Over Me": Did everyone catch the crazy fu man chu on the pianist? Wow! I love this song. She gave me chills, too. She did a beautiful job. I love her voice! I love how she can totally hold out power notes with such clarity and beautiful tone while having a rock-edge almost breathless raspiness in her lower register. This girl is awesome. And 16?? Simon is stupid. He's all doom and gloom. How can he seriously listen to that 16-year-old girl and think she doesn't have what it takes?! Have I mentioned that she's 16?! (Okay, 17, but barely!). SIXTEEN! Remember Diana Degarmo? Camille Valesquez? Jordin Sparks?? This girl can sing her butt off. And Simon's, too. He's just too busy being in love with himself to notice. Idiot.

Matt - "My Funny Valentine": See, when I hear this song, I really hear this (start at 1:05). Janice has apparently ruined many a jazz standard for me. So, Matt. I love the look and love the hat especially. No matter what he does, he still looks like Justin Timberlake. He, as usual, starts out shaky and gets better throughout. I think this guy has a major case of stage fright and I don't think he's ever really gotten over it. I'm always nervous for him and as much as I'd like to see him do well, he usually starts out a bit, well, not. And it's too bad, because they guy really does have mad talent. I personally liked the R&B vibe he gave the song. I like the riffs. Even though it wasn't perfect, as he got better, yes, this performance gave me chills, too. Simon was way too harsh on the first two. Then he praised this one. I don't get it. He claims his issue is confidence. I like Matt. A lot. But I actually think Kris and Allison have him beat by a mile when it comes to confidence. Stupid Simon.

Danny - "Come Rain or Come Shine": Hmmmm, not sure what Danny means about making it his own by giving this song a "bluesy feel." It IS a blues song. Maybe he was just nervous because Jaime Fox got in his personal space. He looked very nice and he was totally rockin' the house. Like Mark says, Danny has been consistently good (a la Ruben) so he sort of maintains rather than improves, but is that a bad thing? Danny is good, but I still think Simon is pitching his two pet favorites. Danny doesn't ever use his falsetto, which is fine, but I sort of like falsettos. His performance left Kara so breathless that she used a non-word saying he had "swag." Methinks she's been sitting next to Randy too long. What??

Adam - "Feelin' Good": Here I was all excited for a real jazz number and he rocked out. So, for those keeping count at home, that's 3 ballads and 2 rock numbers. So Disco week wasn't really disco. And jazz week really wasn't jazz. I'm starting to not really care what next week's theme is. Oooooh unless it's 80s! I want to see Adam do some Queen. I'm going to go ahead and leave that sentence. Think what you want. He would be phenomenal doing anything by Queen. If we're going to talk about "swag," Dude, Adam has swag. Lots and lots and lots of it. The staircase. The lighting. The white suit. It was really good. What can I say about Adam? He's got God-given talent. You can't learn that. It's all natural, raw TALENT. And I mentioned that I love when the guys use their falsettos, right? LOVE when Adam goes all Opera-mad, tongue sticking out, on his songs. I didn't love the arrangement, to be honest, but I can't deny that he performed the heck out of it. And that note at the end? Holy Moses! Boy can sing. Word.

When they wrapped up the show with Ryan standing by Adam, you could so clearly see their "opposite" suits . . . it was like a human Ying-Yang. In so many ways. And yet not. Wow, that's so very, very Zen. Ohm.

And did Ryan say, "Tomorrow night, Taylor Hicks, Natalie Cole, and Jaime Foxx?" What? No Michael Phelps? Well that's a motley crew if I ever heard one.

Best to worst:

They were all good but Matt was shakiest. But Simon is stupid, so I have no idea what will happen at this point. It'll be Adam and somebody in the finale, but I'd like to see it be Kris to be honest. Or Allison.

And an honorable mention goes to Paula for having an exquisite vocabulary even if she sometimes delivers her lines as if she's stoned. I like Paula and think she's smarter than we all assume. She used the word "alluring" tonight. I don't think the other judges or Ryan even know what that means. I love Paula.

I AM Clairvoyant!!

I was only kidding! I was being sarcastic! Holy cow, I *am* clairvoyant!!

Hannah Montana duet with David Archuleta

Double Elimination on Idol

I'm going to keep it short and simple.

I loved the Paula dance stuff. I hate it when they lip sync. When you saw all 7 on stage--2 stood out as having true rhythm in their very bones: Matt and Adam. Whatever their singing abilities, those 2 have artistry and you can tell they actually feel their music. And they are the only two who can dance.

HATED the washed up disco medley. OMG, it was uncomfortable and painful. When I was a little girl, my mom used to take me to Miss Senior Sweetheart. It was a little like that for me, only this time, the talent, and I use that term incredibly loosely, sucked. Botoxed faces and tight dresses on people who shouldn't be wearing tight dresses (without slips to boot), old ladies who sounded AWFUL and looked like Big Bird if Big Bird ever wore something totally revealing and inappropriate, saggy breasts pushed up and out with a wonder bra that did no wonders unless a squished jello look is sexy, and washed up Vegas Lounge performers (KC, what the ??). What a horrible, horrible thing to inflict on us, the faithful Idol viewers. That was just cruel.

And little David Archuleta came out and sang and it wasn't good either. He apparently hasn't stopped smiling since starting the competition 2 years ago. It makes my cheeks hurt to imagine how it must hurt. Did you catch that his mom is in his band? That was her on the keyboards. Though she kind of looked like David Cook's mom, I'm not sure. I can't wait for the David Archuleta-Miley Cyrus duet! I mean, like, it's gonna be 2 kewl 2 rule.

But ding, dong, Lil is gone. And Anoop. I'm down with that. I love that Anoop sang his swan song with his hand in his pocket like he was hanging out at a bus stop. He has reminded me of Zach Braff for much of this competition and that just clinched it.

I'm quite pleased really. The top 5 who remain are awesome and it's always so nice to get rid of those barnacles that just cling on and on (and on and on) and move forward with a boatload of true talent. I'm excited.

Disco, disco, disco . . .

I am feeling a little cheated this week. No intro videos. No retrospective on disco and its relevance today. And more Lil Rounds. Honestly, I don't know why I watch this show sometimes! ;) I will go on the record, though, and say this is the best Disco Week I've seen on Idol in eight seasons. And the judges were fairly well behaved this week, and I see we're back to hearing from all of them after each contestant. I guess that's what skipping the intro videos can do.

Some other random observations: Ryan is very white. Just thought I'd mention it. I think Adam's pinky ring was the biggest ring I've ever seen in my life. It dwarfed Paula's ring by a mile. I'm so sick of any excuses starting with "I'm just . . ." Is it enough to have fun, or do you actually have to be good?! I'm surprised Simon missed a chance to associate shopping in the womens department with Ryan. And are we talking about ladies' underwear now? Randy really wanted to say this was a talented 6 rather than 7, but he was trying to be PC. There was some camera on the set this week that wasn't working right. The picture was jumpy during both Danny's and Allison's performances. So which guy from Saturday Night Live does Adam resemble?

Lil Rounds. I thought for sure she'd pick a Donna Summers tune, but Chaka Khan is close enough. How can Lil even think she was that original. I mean, she did try singing out of tune, and she did add a few runs here and there, but it was basically karaoke minus the scrolling lyrics at the bottom of the screen and a few drunk Japanese execs. And it's truly sad when Lil tries to defend herself by attacking criticism that wasn't even there. Here's how I remember it in my mind, and remember, I have perfect recall.

Lil: That was not karaoke and y'all are crazy if you think it was copycat.
Simon: We never said it was karaoke.
Lil: Well, I can see it in your eyes, fish 'n' chips, so cool it.
Simon: Your performance was hideous, but I didn't say "karaoke."
Lil: You want to, though. Don't you? Let's add lame, predictable, ridiculous, amateurish, out of tune, and nauseating while we're at it.
Simon: Your words. Not mine. Until now.

Even the outfit and hair extensions scream "I'm trying to be someone I'm not." I had enough 4 weeks ago. What do I have now?

Kris Allen. Again, my favorite of the night, although I could have used a bit better explanation of the song. This is the sound he keeps coming back to, and I think it suits him well. If I heard just a few bars of his guitar work I could probably say it belonged to Kris. I love the latin/carribean smooth jazz kind of sound he brings. His arrangements are so artistic and perfect. I always love when they bring Ricky Minor (obviously groovin' hard), Fidel the Cuban Washboard Guy, and Cesar Conga Dude up on the stage. For some reason it just feels good.

Danny Gokey. I think Simon was a little harsh with him, but I can see what's happening. Danny is kind of like Ruben Studdard was: steady and dependable. He's been outstanding this entire year but hasn't been able to muster a lot of originality to show growth. His interpretation tonight was different enough from the original to keep me interested, though. It doesn't hurt that I love Earth, Wind, and Fire either. Danny's another contestant that knows who he is and what he can do, so that keeps him competitive.

Allison Iraheta. Is that latex? And do they let minors buy clothes like this? Third straight performer with a well-defined style. I wasn't a huge fan of this performance, but man! This girl is great! Looking at her parents you'd never guess she can sing like this. I'm getting a little worried for her, though, since she's been hovering in or near the bottom 3 lately.

Adam Lambert. Apparently Adam is French tonight. The undeniable truth is that he is an amazing vocalist, and probably has the most talent of the bunch. It is incredible what he comes up with each week, even if he has help with the arrangements. Learning to survive in the music industry is learning to tap into resources in and around you. I didn't like his performance as well as Kris's, but I'm not going to lie and say it wasn't amazing. Randy's right: Adam is already there.

Matt Giraud. The hat is back and so is Matt. He gives off such an authentic R&B vibe up there it's unreal. This wasn't his best performance, but he was solid. I think we're approaching his competitive limit, though. He doesn't quite have enough to catch Adam, Kris, and Danny, but I'm glad to see him hold his own this week.

Anoop Dasai. I have a striped shirt from 1988 that will match Anoop's vintage, What Was I Thinking sweater. I think there's a skinny little tie to go with it, too. The bad news for Anoop is that the lyrics of his song do not bode well for his chances. Anoop's vocals were good, but the performance was sort of mediocre, and Anoop knew it. I did enjoy his father's half-hearted, "I really want to get into this but my manners prohibit it" kind of thumbs-down gesture.

BOTTOM 3: Lil, Anoop, Matt
DIMMING THE LIGHTS: Anoop
RETURNING CHAKA'S INNER GODDESS TO LOOK FOR HER OWN: Lil

Idol Does Donna Summer, I mean Disco

Oh when oh when is big band night?? So, Disco. Can't complain, thankfully. Except for a couple of things. I will complain about some things. Let's begin.

I must say, I was particularly clairvoyant tonight, predicting what Simon would say before he said it. And being spot on every time. Uncanny.

Dramatic opening (again, so much better than the old recaps they used to do), "THIS is American Idol," Ryan runs down the stairs, hurries through his cue cards lickety-split, introduces the judges as fast as he can (someone either read my blog or recognized on her own how stupid and tedious the stage entrance was for the judges), quick get the idols on stage, no mentors, no intro videos, hi, bye, everyone leave but Lil and GO! Pant, pant, pant . . . obviously Fringe viewers were ticked. Two weeks of going over. Clearly that ain't happening again this week, Idol Powers That Be. Nuh-uh.

Too bad we couldn't move that fast through the first performance.

Lil Rounds - ("I'm Every Woman" by Chaka Khan) She couldn't have chosen a more predictable diva choice. My clairvoyance began when I noted a couple of notes in that Lil was sick. Not that that excuses her bad singing on any other weeks. Or this one for that matter. And she's right, you know. That wasn't Karaoke. That was Karaoke on steroids at Disneyland. Except that it was bad Karaoke on steroids at Disneyland. Hell, she even looked like Donna Summer. Holy crap, it was bad. So so bad. So very, very bad. And she had to overtalk again. UGH. Why, oh, why did Ryan have to ask what her inner goddess was saying. We all want her inner goddess to shut up when on stage. Did she look ticked or what. Man, she was boring holes into the judges. They were spot on tonight--she has no idea who she is as an artist. But she had fun. Whoopee. The only positive thing I can say is that I don't like pantsuits and yet she looked nice. Yep, that's all I've got. She is the antithesis of original and her time is so far past up it's like watching a child who won't go to bed when it's bedtime. Done. Done, done, done. Two eliminations tomorrow? They should both be for her. For emphasis.

Kris - ("She Works Hard for the Money" by Donna Summer) Um, this guy is nothing short of brilliant. And cute brilliant at that. I loved it. LOVED it. For a second week in a row, I seriously preferred his performance to Adam's! Gasp. We suffered through an uncomfortable introductory interview by Ryan where we learned that Kris chose this song because a woman worked hard to make money. Riveting. How much does Ryan get paid to ask questions? Ryan's losing his edge as far as I'm concerned. I think it's in his closet somewhere. I think if he'd just step out and be authentic, it would be less uncomfortable because maybe he'd be less awkward. So, Kris. WOW! Brilliant performance. Fabulous arrangement. LOVED it. Loved it. Randy so totally went over the top in his compliments. You know why? Because he BLEW it last week. Idiot. Kris is fantastic. I don't care where he shops. Brilliant!

Did you notice all the extra Fringe commercials tonight, too? We saw several (as we zoomed through them on our TiVo). I think that was a big "Take that!" to the Idol producers.

And you know else is so uncomfortable to watch? Those stupid shots of the idols that are about to sing. You know, the ones where they're acting out goofy stuff to fill the time during the AI pre-commercial theme music like "Oh, I can't see very well" and what's that? Allison is wearing Danny's glasses? Oh! Hahahaha. Yeah, not funny. Just smile and wave.

Danny - ("September" by Earth, Wind, and Fire) The guy can sing, but my clairvoyance shined through again when I predicted that Simon would say it wasn't a great performance. Have you seen Earth, Wind, and Fire? The singer in that group is INSANE on stage. Danny looked like he was simply meandering around while singing the crud out of that sung (boy can sing). I don't have much to say on this other than that--good vocals, boring performance. Sing with the back up singers, stroll around the stage, sing with the back up singers, yadda yadda. Loved the shot of Danny's sisters, though. There were like a million of them. Reminded me of Joey Tribbiani. Paula yells out that she'll see him in the finals. I'm not sure what finals she's attending, but the rest of us will be enjoying Adam vs. Kris, methinks.

Anyone else notice the odd blond girl behind Simon that kept cheering during his criticisms? Very strange.

Allison - ("Hot Stuff" by Donna Summer) Again I ask, what was she wearing?? She was rather provocative tonight for a 16 year old. It was a bit odd to hear her rocking out about wanting some hot stuff and hot lovin' while dancing seductively on the stage. I'm guessing her mother has no idea what that means based on her sweet "where's my translator" smile from the audience. She's so cute. Gotta get me a mini one of those for my pocket. Allison is the only girl worth anything in this competition and always has been. Not my favorite performance for me for her, but still very good. She definitely needs to be the last girl standing in this.

Adam Lambert - ("If I Can't Have You" by the Bee Gees) His voice is beautiful, gorgeous, soothing, inspiring, pitch perfect . . . I love the tone of his voice. It was a great performance again, but of course he doesn't deliver anything less than amazing time and time again, so that wasn't surprising. I kind of wish he'd done something up tempo, truth be told. I don't want the unexpected, slowed-down fast songs to lose their ability to wow us and I fear they could if overused. That being said, he's still brilliant. And the tone of his voice combined with the passion he exudes pierces to the core. And his false, as always, is gorgeous. Love him. Paula was melting into a "pool of Abdul." I knew Simon would love it but not be jumping out of his seat over it. My foreknowledge strikes again. Paula, yet again, predicted that he'd be in the finals (well, duh). She has now predicted that 3 people will be in the finals. I don't think she's clairvoyant.

Matt Giraud - ("Stayin' Alive" by the Bee Gees) He looks so much like Justin Timberlake that it's almost distracting. I loved the funky vibe on this song and Matt's got some nice Timberlake-like moves, too. I liked it. Love his voice. He'd be even better in a studio, but dude has rhythm, style, and a serious mojo when it comes to music. And he has a falsetto that is out of this world. And artistry? The word of the season? Yeah, that. He has artistry.

Bowling, shopping, "Pauler" is on one tonight. Her plays on words are so fun. I'm going to put her in my pocket, too. And did some dope in the audience audibly cheer when Simon dissed the performance? Not very bright.

Camera cuts to Anoop doing a little "oh, I didn't shave!" routine. Ugh. Smile and wave. That's it. Ryan drinks out of Kara's glass. Honestly, grown up Hollywood types often remind me of everything I didn't like about high school. Blech.

Anoop - ("Dim All the Lights" by Donna Summer) Our resident frat boy. I like how he had some facial scruff to go along with the untucked shirt, making him look like he's late for math class this time. Man, he's really mixing it up. It was good, but why was that the last performance of the evening? They usually save the wow factor for the end and that was more like a slight snooze fest. I mean, dim the lights? Yikes.

And now a word about the save. STUPID save. So stupid. I've NEVER liked the idea. And I still don't. It's a STUPID ratings ploy. And it's stupid. When they introduced it, they did it all Idol-dramatic like talking about early exits like, GASP, Chris Daughtry and Tamyra Gray. Have I mentioned the word stupid? Because those were STUPID examples. Chris was in 4th place and so was Tamyra, so the stupid save wouldn't have done jack squat to save them. You hear me? Jack. Squat. The save can only be used up until the top 5. So it's really not a save at all, but more of a twofer. Two people get kicked off in one week instead of one at a time. So STUPID. So, you don't get the scare of the bottom 3. You know, those weeks where a favorite is inexplicably at risk of getting booted and people panic and vote like mad the next week to make sure that doesn't happen again? Yeah, can't do that this week. They're there. They're gone. STUPID. Stupid save.

Want more clairvoyance? That stupid save is going to do more harm than good. Someone who shouldn't be going home just might all because of that stupid save. Grrrrr.


Best to worst tonight:

Kris
Adam
Allison
Danny
Matt
Anoop
Lil
Lil (for emphasis)

Who should go home: Lil, twice over. Okay, Lil and either Matt or Anoop.
Who will go home because of the stupid save: Lil and someone who shouldn't (like pretty much anyone other than Matt or Anoop, though I could handle Allison or Danny as long as one of them accompanies Lil, because let's face it--the finale should be Adam versus Kris where it comes down to what style you prefer. Or I like them both, so who cares as long as they both do well). Stupid save.

Idol Top 7

My opinions tonight may surprise you. But I must start out by perhaps stating the obvious. How is it that 5 adults, several producers, and an entire crew can't rein it in to keep their show in the 1-hour time limit? And honestly, it's their eighth year, the judges should have clued in by now.

Here it is all nice and simple like: STOP TALKING SO MUCH. They go on and on and on and on and on with the first few Idols (and with each other) and then rush through the final 2 as if they're running out of air.

So what happens next? I can only assume that Fringe viewers wrote letters of protest that their show was cut off by Idol. Fox caught grief and passed it on to the Idol producers who then sufficiently scared Ryan into keeping it moving and the judges into quieting 2 of their team per performance, but who apparently didn't get the memo to Lil who felt the need, agaaaaaaain, to argue back to the judges trying to justify why her songs still suck.

And they still went over!! You know what would've saved some time? If they'd STOP TALKING SO MUCH. Why must we sit through such ridiculous numbers of hyperbolic adjectives to describe each judge? We see them twice weekly on every show of every year. Randy, Kara, Paula, Simon. We get it. Hell, the 7 Idols we hardly know barely get a cursory walk on stage with maybe enough time to smile or wave. Take note, Ryan. STOP TALKING SO MUCH.

First off, Kara? Provocative? How exactly? Do you even know what that means? And did we need to spend so much time on Paula's bejeweled ensemble? Or Randy's yellow stripe? Vibrant? Congenial? Are you kidding me?! I don't think you even know what those words mean.

iTunes, Coke, AmericanIdol.com . . . we get it already. And, newsflash, we TiVo these shows. So besides skipping the commercials, we fast forward all the in-show commercial advertising, too. Except the blatant, giant red cups. We just ignore those while the judges don't STOP TALKING SO MUCH. My word, even their explanation of why only 2 of them can talk this week instead of 4 took far too long.

So tonight we got to sit through all of that PLUS the insufferable Quentin Tarantino. Didn't like him when he was on the show before. I was only marginally more impressed this time. Either way, I still don't get why he ever even has a role in this setting. He has no place judging or coaching musical contestants. He's a movie director! Now, maybe if he'd been directing tonight's show instead of "coaching" the contestants, they wouldn't have run over. Who knows. It's just insane that they presented a several minute bio about this guy when they don't have time!! Argh. He's so . . . weird! He's like kinda shifty-eyed psycho, kinda over-the-top manic, and kinda Marty McFly in a bowling shirt all at the same time. Not sure how he pulls that off, but it's odd and a little uncomfortable.

So, songs of the cinema. Or cheese, cheese, and more cheese. Here we go.

Allison Iraheta (Don't Want To Miss A Thing):

Quentin's sage advice: Sing it while I sit in a chair.

This theme week is just not complete unless someone sings this most-overplayed Idol song. This song was too low for her. But despite that this was not at all her best week (and I liked the song even less than I thought I would on her), she finally got the praise she deserved. Let's just hope her number one position tonight doesn't hurt her in the voting. Tonight's song notwithstanding, her performances until now should propel her forward. I have no idea why this girl has even ever set foot in the bottom 3. She is the best girl they have and has been all along. And Simon finally said it tonight. Girls' only hope indeed. Rock on.

Anoop Dawg (Everything I Do, I Do It For You):

Quentin's invaluable advice: Rough it up. (What the . . . ??)

Dude, that was AWESOME. I loved it. Wanna know how much I don't like this song? My first boyfriend held my hand for the first time during this movie and I still don't like this song. And I've grown so very tired of this song over the years that I always switch the station when it comes on the radio. And despite all that, I loved this song on Anoop tonight, Dawg. That was hot! I like it better than the original! By a mile. If this performance were on the radio, I wouldn't switch it like I would the original. It was in key, sung well, and performed well. I really liked it. Not sure it'll save him from the bottom 3, but I'm digging the rumpled up, math geek, Indian, frat boy singer.

Adam Lambert (Born To Be Wild):

Quentin's wise advice: None really. He likes Adam, "only got a taste," and he liked it. (Funny coincidence--I just read a comment on YouTube today where someone wondered what Adam tastes like. What an odd question. I don't know. Pop rocks?). Methinks Mr.Tarantino was a little starstruck with Adam.

If anyone can pull off any song, it's Adam. He was, yet again, freaking amazing. This was not at all my favorite performance by him, but that's mostly because I don't like this song either. Yes, that's 3 for 3 for those keeping score at home (actually, I like the Aerosmith song; it's just so very overdone on Idol). That said, I've got nothing but praise for Adam. I LOVE this guy and think he is one of the hottest, most likable, most talented Idols they've ever had. Ever. Perhaps Paula said it best yet again when she explained that Adam "dares to dance in the path of greatness and fortune smiles on him" or something like that. I like the Monkees wool cap he wears when he meets with the guest mentors. Nice. And his falsetto is insane. INSANE! This guy is supernatural. There is no other explanation for that kind of freaking raw talent.

Matt Giraud (Have You Ever Loved A Woman):

Quentin's shrewd advice: Don't lose the lyrics.

After what Daughtry did with this song, no one should ever touch it again. Including Bryan Adams himself. Because, yes, it's another overdone, overplayed song. And another one I don't really like. But you know what? Matt was awesome tonight (except for that one little part in the bridge where he hit that really wonky note). I loved it! I love his look, his easy manner, his madskillz on the piano, his voice, his arrangement, his touch of soul on songs like this . . . I think it was great. He went into his false when I didn't expect it and I liked it. I'm totally worried for him. If we have another pre-Lil casualty, I might just scream. And it wasn't nearly as bad as the 2 judges said it was. Ugh.

Danny Gokey (Endless Love):

Quentin's prudent wisdom: Put your hands in your pockets. Honestly, I don't know how the Idols would've ever pulled off this week without him.

Urgh. Yes, you guessed it. Not this song! This song is normally a duet. Rickey Smith did this song in Season 2 and it was HOT! Watch:



He did BOTH parts. Danny did a good job with this song, but it wasn't great. It was good. It was copycat (but with a harp). He looks so much like my cousin Little Johnny that it distracts me, especially this week without his funky glasses. But I digress. I don't know. It was just . . . okay. Heartfelt, good, well done, yes. But just okay. And yet again, he didn't follow the mentor's advice. His hands weren't in his pockets. I saw them.

Kris Allen (Falling Slowly):

Quentin's inspiring counsel: Have you thought about playing an instrument? Think about it, but it doesn't matter either way. Aren't you glad I'm here?

Dude, this was DA BOMB TONIGHT!! I loved this performance. WOW! I actually liked it even better than Adam's! I'm telling you, this song during the right love scene in the right movie would MELT me. Day-um! DAY-UM! I really loved this! What a gorgeous song!! Fabulous. Beautiful. Wonderful. I loved it. Kris is utterly adorable and has such a great look and manner. I really, really like this song. It's hauntingly, deeply gorgeous. It started out well and got better throughout and it was raw and it was pure and it was GOOD. Randy was wrong. Kara was SPOT ON! He DID have moments in there. She felt it. I felt it. It was AWESOME.

Lil Rounds (The Rose):

Quentin's most inspiring advice: Commit to singing it straight so that when you switch to gospel, it really soars (this was actually the best advice of the night, even if Lil Diva ignored it completely).

Argh. Does it matter anymore? You know why they had her sing last and had Simon critique her? So we can finally be rid of her. It'll stick in people's memories more to NOT vote for her. I actually like this performance on her more than any of her previous ones and at least she didn't do Whitney or Celine (we had predicted The Bodyguard for sure), but it's too little too late. And she's just not as original as so many of the others this season. She has already overstayed her welcome. I would've preferred a little more Lite FM singing from Scott to this drivel. I'm done with Lil. But of course you already knew that since I was done with her like 7 weeks ago. It's so passe already. What did Paula say to her? The road is long? What? Simon was right. And her back talk is intolerable. And she must be frustrated after weeks and weeks of not getting what they're saying, I'm sure. But she's not getting it and it's time to be done.

And still . . . 3 minutes over.

Fringe fans are renewedly mad. Can't say that I blame them. Now that Simon can't blame the girls, who will he blame? Maybe Mr. Tarantino has some suggestions? Sit in a chair, put your hands in your pockets, and don't lose the lyrics.

Heaven help us tomorrow when we have to suffer through a Miley Cyrus performance. Have I mentioned we have TiVo?

Best to worst tonight:

Kris
Adam
Anoop
Danny
Allison
Matt
Lil

Boquinha out.

Let's Go to the Movies . . .

There is so much movie music that it's hard to fathom any contestant making a poor song choice, but alas, every year most of the contestants choose songs that are just (to borrow another judge-ism) "aight" for me. I thought the night went pretty well, and overall everyone did as expected. Admittedly, I was less than enthused about QuentinTarantino and what he would bring to the table (do his beady eyes remind anyone else of Conan O'Brian ?). He was a guest judge back in Season 3, and I was as unclear then as I am now as to why he needs to be involved. I was pleasantly surprised tonight as he seemed to have some decent suggestions and didn't venture too far into areas of music that he doesn't understand. And he kept it pretty positive and relevant (at least on the clips we saw) so all in all it was good enough.

So, why do they feel the need to cut back on judges comments rather than ridiculous, corny, make way for the yellow Steve Urkel (Carl!) sweater Randy's sporting and Simon King of All banter? If this show is really about the singing, why is the majority of the wasted time dedicated to the "look at me, I'm on TV!" nonsense Ryan indulges in with the judges? Yes. I said "indulge." With that said, every year they struggle with time when they hit the one-hour shows so it is no surprise to me that with 4 judges this year they couldn't figure out a way to fit it in. And, in case you were unaware, all of these songs are available for download oniTunes.

Allison: I can't help but think of the Big Mac song when I hear about "special sauce." I thought it was gutsy to pick the song she did since it's been done a lot on Idol in years past, including David Cook last season. It was definitely keyed too low this week and she was shakier on it than I would have expected, but overall she did a great job. She's got the vocal talent to be a legit contender for sure.

Anoop: Awesome! Unfortunately I think he's been treading water for so long that it won't be long before he gets pulled under for good. He had one of the best performances of the night and I'm glad he didn't start barking and peeing on a fire hydrant like Quentin seemed to want him to do.Anoop brought his own R&B flair to a classic song. Nice.

Adam: This guy can sing, and he's got incredible talent. I hate this song, though, so no matter what version he came up with or how great a singer he is I was destined to have a sort of "so what" kind of reaction to it. What I'd really like to do is find the path of greatness and dance a bit down it. I think Simon is right tonight when it comes to Adam: either you love it or despise it. His phone line was the only one with a busy signal tonight so I'm guessing most of America, or at least the voting segment, loved it.

Matt: This guy is destined to be the yo-yo performer of the season. They had the wrong judges critiquing him on this one because I've heard him twice now tonight and it was nowhere near as bad as they made it out to be. He did a great job of spinning the song in the right direction for his natural voice and talent, and overall he gave a solid performance. I'm scared for this guy, though, since he can't seem to get the judges behind him consistently enough.

Danny: Sort of vanilla this week for me. Vanilla is classic. Most people like vanilla to some extent. You can dress up vanilla to suit any occasion, but you usually need to add a little something to enjoy it regularly. If only Danny had added even a few vanilla bean flecks or something. Maybe singing with his hands in his pockets would have added something. Coming out on stage with a harp is the same as adding a little sugar free scoop to your vanilla. Danny is headed for a solid career as an inspirational, adult contemporary kind of performer--probably where he thought he'd be in the first place. (Here are two performances of this song that are better than plain vanilla: Rickey Smith and a surprising duet. Maybe telling us the song was from "Happy Gilmore" would have dressed it up a bit more.)

Kris: This was one of those brave song choices that I think paid off. It was not perfect, and there were a few pitch problems, but not many. I think Kara heard the real performance and Randy was daydreaming about playing with Journey or something since he hasn't had many chances this year to name drop. Kris picked an obscure song, but one not too obscure since it was an Academy Award winner. Anyway, it was one of those songs that haunts you. I've never seen the movie "Once," but I can picture the scene for this song. On a night of predictable song choices, Kris really stood out . . . in a good way.

Lil: I feared this would happen. Lil didn't deserve to make it this far, but now she gives a performance just strong enough to buy one more week. She made a crappy song choice, did something fairly original and appropriate by showing her gospel soul side, and then finished with shaky notes and average vocals. I can't blame her for being frustrated--it's obvious she really tried to do what the judges have been telling her to do, and even seemed to get it a little, and she still got ripped for being boring. See, if we'd gotten rid of her earlier we could have spared her all of this ill will.C'mon people! Let's get it right this week!

OK, just to be clear, these are my predictions, not my personal preferences.

BOTTOM THREE: Matt, Lil, Quentin
FINDING MORE TIME TO GO TO THE MOVIES: Matt