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Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Predictable and a bit boring, if I'm being honest

Wow. What the hell happened?? Is week 2 always this bad? How can I both enjoy the competition of the show and simultaneously sense my gag reflex kicking into gear every time Ryan mentions an iPhone? Or when he introduces Jason Castro with a French accent? Or, heaven help us all, when he does that horrible Macy's Day Parade exchange (complete with repetitive mention of their names, scripted pauses and smiles, and goofy talking directly to the camera/TV audience rather than to each other) with Randy every single week:

Ryan: So, Randy, I saw Mariah and she says "Hi!" by the way.

Randy laughs while shaking his shoulders.

Ryan: So, Randy, what do you think these contestants need to do?

Randy: Well, Ryan, I think they really need to bring it. You know, sing the song. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Ryan: So, Randy, they need to sing. Yes, I can see what you mean and I think you're right, Randy. Ha. Ha. Ha. (Ryan's voice lifts slightly in intonation.) And might I say those are great shoes you're wearing and I really like your Coke glasses that you 3 drink out of every week!

All 3 judges raise their big, red Coke glasses to their cheeks, smile cheesily (with teeth sparkling . . . I think I even heard a "ding" during the glint of the sparkle), and give 3 cheery thumbs up.

Randy: You know, Ryan, these songs are copyrights. It's the Beatles, you know? So, Ryan, yes, they really need to bring it. And sing it. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Ryan: Thank you, Randy, for telling us all such important information. Now, let's hear from our contestants and hope they bring it! Ha ha ha.

*GAG* When did Ryan turn so geeky and awkward??

Okay, so aside from the silly banter, horrible product placement (and thank goodness Jim Carrey didn't make a repeat performance this week), and the ridiculously inappropriate Freudian slips from contestants and host alike (it's a family show, people!), the show also had performances.

Amanda Overmeyer (“Back in the USSR”)
Ugh. Just read John's recap. It's essentially the same as mine. I'm unclear how she ever made the top 12. Same old, same old. And really, Paula? A ballad? You know, while watching the show yesterday I thought it a horrid idea. Now, I rather like it as I think it would expedite her exit. I'm bored with you now. Goodbye.

Smug? Yes.

Kristy Lee Cook (“You’ve Got to Hide Your Love Away)
Oh, that interview with awkward photo props was so painful. Cute dog. Cute horse. Okay, we get it. Gag. So what really bugs me about this performance is she didn't ever hit the note when she said "hide!" And it left us all hanging in a very bad way. It didn't really resolve. It was just . . . awful. And dull. She was strutting around the stage all comatose and bored like. But hey, at least she got a shout out from Paula for looking pretty. That's a step up from week 1 when she didn't even get that.

Smug? No. At least she's got that going for her.

David Archuleta (“The Long and Winding Road”)
Hurrah! A good night for him and no flubbed lyrics! He's fantastic and I love him on slow ballads. I think he does too many runs and things, but it's still very good. He runs the risk of being a one-trick pony and he has yet to wow us with a fast song (and not forget the lyrics), so I'm curious to see if he can. But this was very good and I'm glad. I wish I hadn't seen those old videos of him doing Star Search as 6-year-old because when 6-year-olds sing, no matter how well, it always seems pageant-ish and precocious, so it can almost sort of ruin it for me. But as a 17-year-old, it's credible. And fantastic.

Smug? Impossible.

Michael Johns (“A Day in the Life”)
I actually really like this song choice for him and I thought he did well. I think the judges were awfully harsh. I like these rhapsodies on him. And, like Magistra says, he really is so pretty. It was a touching sentiment, but I think the contestants really hurt themselves with the picking-songs-for-other-people "a la Ramiele."

Smug? No, but pretty, yes.

Brooke White (“Here Comes the Sun do do do do”)
Oh dear. The yellow can-can dress should have told me what she was singing but when they said the title, I just cringed. And to think that this week a friend of ours is tuning in just to see what all the Brooke hoopla is about. Ugh.

I like Brooke, I do. But, the awkward dancing (is that what she was doing?), the nervous not-shutting-up during the judges' comments, the goofy and unchallenging song choice is all wrong, wrong, wrong. And she "Whoo!"-ed right in the middle complete with that ditzy, painful-to-watch leg kicky thing that Haley Scarnato, some girl that already got kicked off this season who I can't recall, and even Katharine McPhee all do that I so dislike. It has got to stop! I'd say the choreographers need to warn them, but then again the choreographers are busy encouraging like antics in the Up-With-People group numbers, so that wouldn't work. She's very kinetic and ephemeral and those 2 traits don't usually go together, so you know it doesn't work.

Smug? No, but incredibly awkward.

David Cook (“Day Tripper”)
I loved it! I really like this guy!! I love his arrangements, I love his performances. He's a true rocker and I really like him. Great song for him, great performance. He's actually really good. Not sure why the judges weren't digging it more (though I knew Simon wouldn't like that voice thingy and it distracted me-why is there a 2nd microphone sitting there??), but I thought his performance was great. He could take a few notes from Daughtry on mixing it up a bit while still being the true resident rocker (Amanda isn't even a fake rocker--I don't know what she is). Daughtry pulled off that wonderful "To love a woman" ballad with the Spanish guitar. David could do something along those lines.

Smug? A little. And he needs to watch that, because he's more endearing when he humbles himself more.

Carly Smithson (“Blackbird”)
Holy range! She is amazing. I loved it! And she has beautiful eyes and such passion when she sings. She's cute and endearing and grateful to be on the show and has a nice balance of fun, humility, and gratitude. I like her. She's gracious and lovable.

Smug? Nooooo, noot at all. (Irish accent, in case you couldn't tell)

Jason Castro (“Michelle”)
I love his video intro! I really like how endearing and honest and real this kid is. I'm so glad he's stuck around. I don't know that he can't sing without his guitar (he did well with "Hallelujah"), but this one got cheesy and he seemed to be sort of laughing while he sang it instead of being passionate about it. I think Paula hit it spot on when she said it turned polka-like.

Smug? Neh. Just cute in a sort of goofy way.

Syesha (“Yesterday”)
Oh, I really don't like her but I can still say she did a good job (and I totally agree that Brooke should've sung this song--I think it would've been cool if they'd have BOTH sung it for comparison's sake--the diva and the folksy girl, at least the folksy is more original). I'm so with Mark on this--all so contrived and cliche: the gown, sitting down, the expressions. Nothing about it seems sincere to me. And I don't like insincere. And I don't like divas.

Smug? Omigosh, yes.

Chikeze (“I’ve Just Seen a Face”)
I like him. He makes me smile. It might be that I feel like I'm watching Turk (from "Scrubs") perform, but I don't care. I like Turk, too. Chikeze is likable and talented and fun. And he's a good performer and singer. His song was a bit all over the place for me for him, but not horrible. Go Chikeze!

Smug? No. He's eased up a lot since his first week in the Top 24 (thank heavens).

RamieleMalubay (“I Should’ve Known Better”)
Ugh. I'm not liking her any more for all the reasons Mark has mentioned, so please refer to his post.

Smug? No. Silly? Yes.

Tops: The Davids and Carly
Bottom: I'd like to say Syesha, but probably Ramiele and Kristy and, ugh, Brooke (though I hope Brooke's earlier stuff carries her).
Packing her pictures and going home to her horses: Kristy

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